INT. ANIELLE AND TOCI’S ROOM. NIGHT.
Toci is on what looks like an ordinary laptop but all of the icons float above the counsel. She is chatting with CHAD (dorky looking, blonde hair, blue eyes, dark glasses, and blue eyes). Anielle enters.
Let’s pretend I knock you onto
Just to fantasize together.
I don’t get it. Are we writing a
Kind of. So, I knock you onto the
And I call the Peace Officers for
Oh, never mind! I’ll see you tomorrow!
Chad gets off the computer. Toci closes the laptop.
So, if you got him to cyber sex,
you think it’d lead to regular sex?
I realize he was probably very sheltered
to even discussing sex, so I’m thinking if
I can corrupt his mind, I can corrupt his body!
Good idea! Nothing can go wrong with this plan!
So, how was Madame Fate?
Before Anielle answers, Blanche walks in and sits down, staring at them like they are a television program.
Can we help you?
I was going to visit George, but he
brought a date home. I told her not
to burn her tongue on the coffee, and
George says, “We’re going to have sex!”
So, I offered to perform an STD spell to
make sure everyone is clean, you know,
down there. It’s important to be safe!
He kicked me out, so now I’m here.
Um, we’re kind of in the middle of something…
That’s okay. I can help you.
Actually, you can help. We were going to
make a headache potion, but we need a
Tallant herb. I don’t know where to find
There’s one by the dorm! I’ll go get it!
She walks out in an almost dreamy skip. Toci uses her scepter to shut and lock the door.
Once again, my knowledge of plants
saves the day!
Okay, so Madame Fate said some vague ideas
about me struggling and growing to be an old
maid with a bunch of cats. Whatever. But then she
said I would defy the new chosen leader, and that
he would come into power when he got some chosen
partner pregnant. It makes sense! Babelsama tried to
take over the world starting at Temca before, broke out
of prison, and before he made new plans, he wanted to
make sure he wouldn’t fail again, so he asked Madame
Fate how to succeed. So, now he’s trying to get some
girl pregnant because he believes in the prophecy,
and he’s using Madame Fate to set the stage here.
Everyone believes there is a new leader coming, and
when Babelsama gets that girl pregnant, they’ll be
waiting for him!
One thing that doesn’t make sense is
why would he kidnap Joshua? Why
kill a hooker?
I don’t know, but sooner or later I’m sure
Babelsama will visit Madame Fate again, so
I’ll keep an eye out for that. And I’ve gotta
make sure, if we see Babelsama trying to score,
to stop them!
And you still think Meretrice in danger?
Before Anielle can answer, there is a knock on the door.
I’ve got your plant!
Anielle and Toci turn off the lights and pretend to be sleeping.
BEGIN ANIELLE’S INVESTIGATION MONTAGE
INT. DRAGONHEART SHOES. AFTERNOON.
Anielle searches all over the store for a particular shoe, finally finds it, and hands it to a customer. The customer tries it on, does not like it, and asks for another pair. As Anielle reaches for some boxes, she sees BABELSAMA (tall, skinny, bald, brown robes) walk by the shop, heading away from Madame Fate’s shop. The shock makes her drop a big pile and boxes on top of her.
INT. ICE CREAM PARLOR. AFTERNOON.
George tries to speak Spanish to a Hispanic girl, who gets offended and pushes him down. Anielle catches him, but when she sees Babelsama pass by, she forgets she has George and goes after him, causing George to fall.
INT. CAMPUS BOOKSTORE. MORNING.
Toci tries to show Chad a sex position book, but he is too busy reading a business textbook. Anielle is keeping guard as Meretrice settles a deal with some boys. Toci looks at Meretrice jealously. Anielle sees Babelsama approach the attractive bookstore clerk, so Anielle points her scepter at a nearby bookshelf. A giant book hits him on the head and knocks him out.
EXT. DOG HOUSE. NIGHT.
A group of girls put up signs for the FAUK club. Babelsama goes to approach them. From her window, Anielle points her scepter at Babelsama, who gets bound with ropes. The girls look frightened and run away. Anielle tries to get him to hold still but he hops away.
EXT. TEMCA PATH. EVENING.
Anielle sits on a bench and longingly gazes at a picture of Joshua. Someone slides a picture over it. It is Alberto, who gives her a picture of himself. As he tries to flirt with her, Anielle sees Babelsama talking to a couple of girls. She points her scepter at Alberto, which sends Alberto flying backwards straight into Babelsama. Babelsama gets knocked down. Anielle leaves.
INT. DORM LOUNGE. NIGHT.
Anielle sits in the dorm lounge (which has a table, chairs, a couple of couches, and a television projector). She is wearing her cheerleader uniform and looks exhausted. George is wearing his football uniform and is doing some “replays” of the game. Toci sits with Chad, who is wearing an accountant’s outfit and is counting Meretrice’s money. Meretrice watches with interest. The window is snowy.
Nine hundred and ninety nine, one
thousand, one thousand one, one
thousand two…Where did you say
you worked again?
I sell…books. What?
Someone on the Bighorn’s side passes it,
but I intercept it like this…
I miss big horns!
What’s your major, again?
The forward tries to tackle me, but I said
no way, essay!
Toci gets up angrily.
Quit trying to act Mexican! You are
just trying to embrace the stereotype,
and you’re failing! Shut up! We saw the
game, by the way, and that’s not how it
happened! So just shut up!
Okay, you’re in a bad mood. I guess
I’m going to turn in early. Bye everyone!
Toci, you need to find a way to release
your sexual tension. Have you tried…?
Of course! It’s not the same! I miss
foreplay and just holding each other.
Doing it myself isn’t a challenge, so it’s
a lot less fun. I think I need to break up
But he loves you. Surely there must be
I’ve tried everything I could think of to
seduce him, and it hasn’t worked. I need
sex! You just wouldn’t understand it cuz
you’re more of a romantic. You get off on
ideas. Like, we have gone the same length
of time since we last had sex, and yet you’re
okay. Meretrice, could you live without sex?
Considering I kind of depend on it to
But say you were in a relationship with
a guy who wouldn’t have sex until he’s
I’d marry him.
I never thought of that.
You could sleep with Babelsama. Both
of you are desperate for it!
I’m sorry. I’m kind of sleep deprived.
I wish there was a way to keep him
from being appealing to women. You’d
think his looks alone would do it.
Not if he has money or power. Girls will
sleep with the world’s ugliest dude if he’s
got that going on.
A paper airplane glides through the window and lands in front of Anielle.
That’s Joshua’s handwriting! Oh, this
must be a clue to where he is!
She tears open the note and frowns.
Go to Hell.
So, this dude is kidnapped, gets one
chance for contacting the outside world,
and uses this rare opportunity to dump you?
No way would he dump her! He’s going to p-
He’s giving her a clue. What could he mean
Anielle stares fixedly out the window.
What? You’ve never been there,
how do u know it’s hell?
INTERCUT-outside the dorm, on a tree, is a poster for the FAUK club trip to the Future Leaders of America Conference in Phoenix. CUT BACK.
Ooh, sounds like it’s the perfect place
for me to work during Christmas break!
No sex and I have to carry my papers
everywhere I go in Phoenix. Yeah,
merry f’ing Christmas to me!