Temca Academy II, Part 14

INT. MADAME FATE’S ROOM.

The room looks like a dark, dank studio apartment. It has all the comforts of a home except for windows. There is a cage at the end of it where Joshua is. Babelsama is already there and smiles.

BABELSAMA:

Welcome to eternity!

They here a whoosh outside.

BABELSAMA:

I’m a resident here, and I welcomed

you, so your spirit guide went away.

TOCI:

But you’re not dead yet!

BABELSAMA:

Yet? I will be immortal!

Anielle, George, and Toci pull out their scepters. Babelsama leers.

BABELSAMA:

Don’t you think Dudley Dooright here

tried that already? Scepters don’t work

here! Only these!

Babelsama points a pitchfork at them, which sends them flying into the cage.

JOSHUA:

Hi babe!

ANIELLE:

I missed you!

BABELSAMA:

No! No happy reunion scenes! You’re

going to wait here for my girlfriend.

TOCI:

Can’t you just kill us now and get it

over with?

BABELSAMA:

No. I can’t interfere with Fate. We’re

just going to keep here so you don’t

interfere with the take over. Then you’ll

live out your lives of misery.

GEORGE:

Not that I wanna die, but wouldn’t it be

easier if you just killed us?

BABELSAMA:

No. On Earth, you can be miserable. But

if you die, you goody-goodies will go to

Heaven, and I’d rather see you suffer!

There is a knock on the door. Babelsama opens it to see Peace Officers.

BABELSAMA:

Ugh! Why do you guys always call

the PO’s?

Meretrice appears.

MERETRICE:

They didn’t. I did. And I can let them

in since I’m half goddess.

BABELSAMA:

Yes, well too bad none of you are

any use against this!

Babelsama points the pitchfork at them, and they all get crammed into the cage. There is not a lot of room left.

BABELSAMA:

Now, as we wait for Fate, would you guys

like something to eat?

He shows them a tray of appetizers.

BABELSAMA:

What? I’m not going to kill you. I’m an

excellent cook. Ask him!

(points to Joshua)

JOSHUA:

It’s true, he is.

A couple of people sample his platter. Madame Fate enters.

MADAME FATE:

You all are fools! Even if you kill

my earthly body, I will be reborn

again as an entirely different person

but with the same spirit.

MERETRICE:

Hey! I’m your daughter-why did I

get trapped?

MADAME FATE:

Babelsama’s mistaken murder of your

friend doesn’t matter anymore! You’re

in the cage, and I’m in control! Now

tonight I-

Babelsama burps. There is some spit, which he wipes off.

MADAME FATE:

Gross. Anyways, tonight, it is foretold

that we will conceive a child again! And

this one will live! So, nice try, heroes,

but game over, we win! Come, Babelsama,

let us fornicate so we may take our rightful

place on Earth!

They head into the bedroom. Everyone except Anielle turns away in disgust, trying not to listen. Meretrice looks to Anielle.

MERETRICE:

You don’t think that burp was…?

ANIELLE:

Wait for it, wait for it…

Beat. Madame Fate screams in disgust. Babelsama comes out of the room with his clothes disheveled.

MADAME FATE:

Where did you get that STD?

BABELSAMA:

Oh no! That party! I got all hazy and

I thought I dreamt of sleeping with a

younger version of you!

MADAME FATE:

Younger version of me?

She looks over to Meretrice, who smiles and waves.

MERETRICE:

I used to wonder why I was abandoned

as a baby and why I always felt like I had

eyes watching me. Now it all makes sense.

I’m glad I didn’t grow up here! But, one

question remains-who’s my father?

MADAME FATE:

Oh, some other idiot that tried to take

over the world. I can’t control Fate, I

only interpret it. The Big Man upstairs

gives you options, and it’s up to you what

to do about it, how far you can reach.

(to Anielle)

You were gonna end up a crazy cat lady

only if I succeeded. I guess I can’t avoid

Fate any more than the rest of you. I’m

gonna scrap this rusty old body and be

reborn again in a hundred years when this

really hot guy wants to take over the world!

Madame Fate takes her pitchfork and releases everyone.

MERETRICE:

I’m gonna need a death certificate

from you.

MADAME FATE:

Of course.

BABELSAMA:

What about me?

MADAME FATE:

You’re not gonna be popular

on campus anymore. Go ahead,

officers, arrest him.

The Peace Officers arrest him.

BABELSAMA:

(to the main four)

Don’t get too comfortable;

I will be back!

ANIELLE:

Back in Hell, certainly.

(to the officers)

Oh, he can turn into a bat;

that’s how he escaped last time.

Babelsama growls. The Peace Officers leave. Anielle, Toci, George, and Joshua follow happily.

EXT. FAUK CLUB. NIGHT.

Everyone is waiting for the ceremony to start. Joshua gets on stage.

JOSHUA:

Hello! I’m still alive, but I’d like to

inform you that Babelsama was

responsible for not only my kidnapping

but the murder of an innocent woman.

So sorry, your cult is gonna have to

disband.

BRUNETTE GIRL:

We’re not a cult! We are an organization

that moves to follow a glorious leader…

(beat)

Oh damn, we are a cult!

Everyone walks away disappointed.

ALBERTO:

Does that mean I’m not gonna

sleep with someone famous?

ANIELLE:

Famous, no. But have you met

my friend Circe?

Circe hears her name and comes over to her.

ANIELLE:

Circe, meet Alberto.

CIRCE:

Hi!

ALBERTO:

Hello!

 

EXT. BROOM FOOTBALL FIELD. NIGHT.

Toci, George, Anielle and Joshua walk across the field, not seeing the Peace Officers on the other end.

JOSHUA:

I thought I was gonna be a year

behind on my classes, but they said

since I helped improve their policies

that they’ll omit some of my classes!

At least after all this they’re gonna

start treating every murder equally.

Cassius walks up to them.

CASSIUS:

I’m really sorry I put your life

in danger, Frederick. If it makes

you feel any better, I was demoted

to Crime Solver Assistant.

JOSHUA:

It helps a little.

CASSIUS:

Anyways, can you identify this body?

They walk over to see Blanche’s body.

TOCI:

We just know her name is Blanche. How

did she die?

CRIME SOLVER:

It appears she fell off her broom

after crashing into that goal post.

GEORGE:

Awwww!

(whispers to Toci)

Is it bad if I’m not sorry she’s gone?

I mean, we just saw how happy

she is now!

JOSHUA:

(to Anielle)

Psst! Let me steal you for a minute!

ANIELLE:

Okay!

Anielle and Joshua leave. Chad enters, frantically looking for Toci. Toci finds him and runs up to him.

TOCI:

Chad!

She throws her arms around him and kisses him.

CHAD:

I heard about your rescue mission,

and I was certain I was going to lose

you! Tell me, when you were in Hell,

did you notice if premarital sex was

still a sin or not?

TOCI:

As long as it’s consensual and we’re

not related.

She hugs him gleefully.

EXT. BOTANICAL GARDEN. NIGHT.

Joshua leads her to a bridge over a small botanical garden. Strings of lights are hung along the trees, making a romantic glow. Joshua faces Anielle.

JOSHUA:

Anielle, there was something I wanted

to tell you before our little adventure.

I love you so much! You save me from

eternal torment, both literally and

figuratively. No one else had made me

feel this happy, this hopeful, this loved.

Before anything else crazy, happens I

want to give you something so you know

that no matter what happens, I will always

feel this way!

Joshua reaches into his pocket and gets down on one knee. Anielle gasps in anticipation. Joshua fights back joyful tears.

JOSHUA:

Will you marry me?

ANIELLE:

(crying)

Yes, of course!

He puts the ring on her, and they share a passionate embrace. There is a flash of light, and they look over to see George taking a picture.

GEORGE:

That was hot! Can you kiss her like

that again so I can get it from a

different angle?

ANIELLE:

Shut up, you perv!

GEORGE:

Congratulations dude!

He hugs Joshua then Anielle.

GEORGE:

I’m going to throw you a fiesta,

amigos!

INT. DOG HOUSE. NIGHT.

A party unfolds to celebrate the engagement. Toci comes up to Anielle with a big grin on her face.

ANIELLE:

Oh no, why are you so happy?

TOCI:

I did it!

GEORGE:

O-day-lays!

TOCI:

Ugh! You have to ruin everything!

Look, you don’t have to “act” Mexican

-you are Mexican! Just act like yourself

and stop trying to be a stereotype!

George sits down sadly as the girls go off to gossip. MARNIE (slim, Asian, good looking, casually dressed) sits next to him.

MARNIE:

What’s wrong?

GEORGE:

Apparently I’m not being a good

Mexican!

MARNIE:

Oh, I hear that! My parents always

expect me to be a brainiac, like they

expect all Asians to grow up to be a

healer or accountant. But all I wanna do

is play Air Softball and drink beer! I’m

supposed to dress like a geisha, be all

proper and virginal. Sometimes all I

want is a good lay!

George looks at her with interest.

GEORGE:

My name is George.

MARNIE:

I’m Marnie.

EXT. DOG HOUSE. MORNING.

Anielle, George, Joshua, and Toci wake up on the lawn. George is in his boxers, Toci has a clump of plants in her hands and pockets, and Anielle and Joshua have switched clothes.

TOCI:

What happened?

GEORGE:

Ooh, I got Marnie’s phone number!

TOCI:

Who’s Marnie?

GEORGE:

I have no idea! She better be hot!

JOSHUA:

What’s this? A business card for Meretrice’s

House of Love. Oh, must’ve taken over Madame

Fate’s old shop and became a madame. I love

how it has bookstore in quotes.

ANIELLE:

Well, let’s go pack and go home. Hopefully

the skies are clear and Babelsama doesn’t

ambush us on the way home! I hope his

next lair is some place nice, like a tropical

beach!

JOSHUA:

As long as he doesn’t interrupt our wedding,

I’m good!

TOCI:

Do you really thing he’ll be back again?

ALL:

Yes!

They laugh, get up, and walk inside. There is a glimmer in the sky. Scotty walks by and hisses at it. The glimmer fades away.

CUT TO CREDITS.

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