The Unsuper Heroes, Part 3

EXT. VILLAGE ROAD. AFTERNOON.

People are screaming and fleeing their homes as the Menoreas destroy one building at a time and crushes anyone in its path. Cyrek and Orcus stand at the end of the road watching. The heroes stand closer to the monster and are at a loss for words.

GEEKIUS:
For the first time as far as I
remember, I’m out of ideas!

DITZIA:
What? You’re supposed to be
the idea person!

EXELDA:
(to Narcius)
Okay, mister great warrior, since your
family has always been so victorious,
now’s your chance to amaze us.

NARCIUS:
Uh…We need to think a strategy
before we attack.

HYPNOS:
Why don’t we just all try to attack
one at a time to see its weakness?

They all look at him expectantly.

HYPNOS:
Wait, you want me to go first?

DITZIA:
It was your idea! You’d be a great
warrior if you weren’t so lazy!

HYPNOS:
Ugh, I shouldn’t have sat down!

Hypnos forces himself to get up. He casually walks up to the Menoreas. Hypnos looks at him, and he looks back curiously. Hypnos holds up his hands.

HYPNOS:
Prepare to die!

The Menoreas slaps him back to his original spot. He lands by the group in a heap.

HYPNOS:
I guess I was talking to myself!

PAN to Cyrek and Orcus watching.

CYREK:
I’m beginning to have second
thoughts about this.

They watch the Menoreas play with Geekius like a tennis ball.

ORCUS:
Well, you know, Melampia was on drugs.

CYREK:
All of the oracles are on drugs!

PAN BACK- Geekius is thrown back to them, hits his head on a water trough, and turns invisible.

EXELDA:
Oh sure, now you turn invisible!

Exelda runs over to the Menoreas, but the Menoreas is too quick for her to make any real attacks. She dodges it a couple of times but gets caught off guard and thrown back.

EXELDA:
(to Narcius)
We thought of a strategy, but you
haven’t moved yet.

NARCIUS:
We need a better strategy…

Exelda kicks his butt, and he is forced to walk over to the Menoreas. He is better at dodging him because of his super speed, but when he tries to stab him, the sword cannot penetrate his tough skin and breaks. Narcius is thrown back and hits a hitching post.

DITZIA:
Quick, someone make me cry!

EXELDA:
Once my horse trampled a kitten
on the road…

DITZIA:
(gasps)
Was the kitten okay?

Exelda shakes her head. Ditzia cries. She then gets angry and flies over to the Menoreas. The Menoreas swats her like a fly, and she lands in a puddle. The puddle splashes onto the Menoreas, who shrieks in pain.

EXELDA:
That’s it! Water! Narcius, grab that
rope. You and Ditzia will wrap it
around his legs. Geekius, make sure
he doesn’t fall into any buildings.
Hypnos, help me carry this trough.

Geekius, still invisible, gets the Menoreas to step away from the buildings. The Menoreas is confused. Ditzia flies with one end of the rope and Narcius carries the other end. They wrap the rope around its ankles. He tries to move forward and falls down. Exelda and Hypnos have moved the trough by the Menoreas side. It takes all five to lift the trough high enough to hit the Menoreas in the head. The Menoreas screams and dies. The townspeople recognize this victory and run up to them in celebration. The heroes are a little bashful but proud.

ORCUS:
Congratulations!

EXELDA:
Thank you! We were glad to help.

CYREK:
Great! And now you’re prepared
for next time!

GEEKIUS:
There’s going to be another one?

CYREK:
Several more. Did I forget to mention
that? What do you say?

NARCIUS:
Do we have a choice?

EXELDA:
(to Narcius)
Don’t you want revenge for
your salon?

NARCIUS:
Let’s kill some monsters!

The others cheer in agreement. A messenger comes and hands Cyrek a note.

CYREK:
Ah. Prince Philoles requests
our company.

Exelda frowns slightly, but everyone seems reasonably pleased. A villager stops them.

VILLAGER:
What are we supposed to do
with that?

He points at the Menoreas’s corpse.

DITZIA:
Sorry, we were just hired to kill it,
not clean it up.

The heroes, Cyrek, and Orcus leave the village.

INT. MERCINON’S OFFICE. AFTERNOON.

Mercinon is carefully stacking some cards into a pyramid. Darius enters.

DARIUS:
Are you bored, your majesty?

MERCINON:
(sarcastically)
No, this is important.

DARIUS:
Well, sir, I have news that may make
things more interesting.

MERCINON:
Interesting good or interesting bad?

DARIUS:
Bad. The Menoreas has been killed.

Mercinon loses his concentration and topples his cards.

MERCINON:
Great! Now my whole day has been
a waste of time!
(beat)
Why are you just standing there?
Go find more monsters!

DARIUS:
Find more?

MERCINON:
Or make them.

DARIUS:
Make them! What am I? Zeus?

Mercinon glares at Darius.

DARIUS:
I’ll go find some!

Mercinon rubs his forehead in frustration.

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