Feliz sat in his living room on a plush couch holding his cell phone away from his ear. The small but posh living room had the lights out, but the tv and his phone created a faint glow. Feliz’s face looked weary, and Tadd could clearly be heard crying louder and louder. Davida, a beautiful woman with long, thick waves and smooth, olive skin, peeked her head into the living room from the kitchen. “Are you okay, Bello?” Feliz did not know how to answer. He put his free hand up, pointed to the phone, and indicated his confusion on what to do. Davida turned the light off in the kitchen and joined him in the living, adjusting her robe as she sat next to him. “What’s going on?”
Feliz explained, “I thought if my friend talked things out, he could get it off his chest and move on. He just won’t let go!”
Davida looked confused. “I thought omen were always the ones to suggest talking. Guys don’t like to talk about their feelings, right?”
Feliz gave his phone the evil eye. “You would think so! But we’re trying everything and nothing seems to work. I mean, we’re running out of ideas. Any suggestions? What have you done to get over a boyfriend dumping you?”
“Bello,” Davida answered, “I have never been dumped. And I do not know what came of the men I dumped. Even in Italy I did not keep in contact with them.”
“:I don’t believe that!” Feliz exclaimed. “You never got dumped?”
Davida put a hand on her hip. “What is so unbelievable about that? I’m a very desirable woman.”
“Even the perfect person has been dumped at least once!” Feliz objected.
“Perfect? Oh Feliz, do you mean me?” Davaida simpered.
“No, me! Obviously!” Feliz flipped his hair like a diva. Davida laughed.
Davida remembered, “Once I had a man leave me to enter the priesthood. But it was my suggestion, so I don’t think it counts.”
Feliz asked, “Why would you suggest that?”
“Because,” Davida answered, “I wanted to avoid scandal. I saw him kissing a man! Can you believe that? He would rather be with a man than with me!” Feliz shifted uncomfortably. “His family would’ve disowned him, and he would never be invited back to the village. Who would ant to live in such disgrace?” Feliz’s stomach dropped thinking of the possibility of this being true. “I thought this way his family would still be proud of him. But if a man did that to me again, I would not be so forgiving! I feel guilty enough hiding the truth from his family. I would never lie again.” Feliz looked really uncomfortable now.
Davida blinked and changed the subject. “Is he still on the phone? I forgot. For a moment I thought it came from the tv, but I don’t think Tim Gunn has made anyone cry that bad.”
“Give it time,” Feliz joked, trying to hide the gnawing feeling in his gut.
Davida unexpectedly kissed his cheek. “You are such a good friend for listening to your friend during your favorite show. But you are getting nowhere with this conversation.”
Feliz agreed, “You’re not wrong, but I cannot just hang up on my friend in crisis!”
Davida boasted, “I can tempt you away from the phone!” She opened her robe and revealed some very sexy lingerie.
Feliz tried really hard to fake enthusiasm. “Wow, very arousing.” He tried further to be more convincing by faking a smile. He put the phone up to his ear. “Tadd? Tadd? Can you hear me over the crying?”
“Hang up the phone.” Davida reached into her robe pocket and pulled out some whipped cream.
“Tadd? Tadd? Listen to me!” Feliz shouted into the phone.
Davida repeated, “Hang up the phone.” She dropped the robe and seductively walked to him.
“Tadd! Tadd! You’re running out of time, my dear friend! Please!” he pleaded. Davida was now on top of him, and he moaned out of total discomfort.
Davida misinterpreted his moan. “That’s right! I win!” She took his phone from him. “Sorry Tadd!” She hung up and threw it. Feliz gazed at the phone wistfully. “Now, come to bed!” She went to the bedroom and kept the door open. The room’s entrance was right next to the view of the tv, which Feliz did not turn off. She laid on the bed and put whipped cream on her stomach.
Feliz watched the tv, and the show just revealed the winner of a competition, which made him smile. Davida moaned seductively. Felize looked from the tv to Davida and back to the tv again. “Yup. Definitely gay.”
“What?” Davida shouted from the room.
“Nothing!” he replied hastily. He knew what he what he was expected to do, but it felt wrong to do it. Her words from earlier stung him. He wondered if his family would disown him. He couldn’t believe he sacrificed his whole life just to satisfy his family’s expectations. When would he tell them the truth? The time to confess seemed to becoming more and more imminent. He wondered if he would ever get the guts. The counter argument was that he took vows on his wedding day, and he should be a good husband while they’re still married and while she did not know the truth. He did not know how much longer he could maintain this lifestyle.
“I’m waiting!” she shouted impatiently.
Feliz panicked. He was not ready to tell her, but if he didn’t have relations with her, she would figure it out. But he was not sure how to get in the mood to do it with her when he was not at all attracted to her. His eyes darted around the room, wondering what he should do. He had to find something. He could not tell her right here, right now, out of the blue, just like that. Suddenly, the solution fell before his eyes via a commercial with the actor John Stamos. Feliz found himself grinning from ear to ear. “Thank you, you Greek god!” He snapped up, kissed two of his fingers, and tapped the tv with John Stamos’ face as he ran into the bedroom.