Turning 30, Chapter 14

Ashlynn walked into a vibrant gym with Cera and Lavena. None of them are wearing work out clothes, and Ashlynn felt a little out of place, but she reasoned that they weren’t going to be there long. Ashlynn had just finished telling her friends the oddness of the interview she went to yesterday. Lavena asked, “Were you on Candid Camera?”

Ashlynn replied, “I could not make that up.”

“Sorry it was such a waste of time,” Cera told her.

“It wasn’t a waste of time!” Ashlynn exclaimed. “Don’t get me wrong, the interview was a total joke. But it made Tadd smile!”

Lavena phased, “He smiled?”

“Sort of,” Ashlynn admitted. “Well, he moved his lips. He wanted to smile!” Cera and Lavena exchanged looks of doubt but said nothing. “Look, he went a whole afternoon without making a scene! He told me he was holding off for me. He chose to keep his composure!”

Cera commented, “I don’t think throwing fits in private means he’s getting better. It worries me that he won’t talk about his feelings.”

“Guys don’t talk about their feelings,” Lavena said. “Except if they’re horny or angry. What I wouldn’t give for Tadd to just fly off the handle!” Ashlynn and Cera gave her a quizzical look. “Just for a change of pace.”

Ashlynn commented, “You guys can think what you want. Tadd showed signs of life yesterday. We’re getting through to him, and that makes me happy.” Again, Cera and Lavena exchanged looks of doubt but said nothing.

At that moment, a very handsome but very young, very muscly guy walked into the gym. Lavena silkily remarked, “Speaking of happy, hello!”

Cera cooed, “Wow! He’s gorgeous!”

He walked past them and all three girls blatantly checked out his body. He was very well built from head to toe. They paid attention to him as he walked up to the young, bubbly girl at the front desk. “Hi! I wanted to rent a basketball.”

Ashlynn conveyed, “Maybe I should get a job here. Then I could handle his balls!”

The three women giggled like school girls. The young man turned around when he heard that. They pretended to be really interested in something on Cera’s phone,. He turned back around. The receptionist relayed to him, “To rent equipment, I need an ID.”

He inquired, “Would a school ID be okay?”

“Sure,” the receptionist complied. He opened up his wallet and handed it to her. She looked at it for a bit. “Oh! I graduated from there two years ago!”

Right as Ashlynn brought out her water and took a drink, he commented, “Oh cool! I love it there! I just made the sophomore basketball team!” Ashlynn, out of surprise, swallowed her water the wrong way. She started choking, and when she tried to cover it up, it just appeared very awkward. The receptionist looked a little disgusted, and the boy looked over in mild concern. The situation resolved itself fairly quickly, so the receptionist handed him a basketball. “Thanks!” He walked off.

Cera broke the awkward silence, “If I had any idea he was so young…”

Ashlynn expressed her astonishment, “He’s fifteen! Fifteen! He’s also fifteen years younger than us! We were in high school when he was born!”

Lavena reacted, “My god! We’re twice his age! He’s almost a man, and we’re twice his age! I thought we were too young to be cougars!”

“I don’t think we’re too young for anything anymore,” Ashlynn remarked. “Except reitrement. At least we have that going on for us.”

They noticed that the receptionist staring at them strangely. She asked them, “Can I help you guys with something?”

Cera told her, “Yes. We wanted to get a list of classes.”

“Sure!” the receptionist obliged. She handed them a piece of paper and pointed to it. “For you ladies I highly recommend the power yoga class. It’s a great way to stay in shape!”

“Oh, it’s not for us,” Ashlynn explained to her. “Our friend, Tadd, is going through a bad break up and needs to get out of the house more.”

Lavena observed, “Wait, you just called us fat, didn’t you?”

The receptionist’s eyes went wide. “Oh no, no, no, no! I didn’t mean to offend you guys. Just a lot of women your age sign up for classes like that.”

“Why?” Cera asked.

The receptionist answered, “Well, it’s getting closer to the holiday season. What’s at the end of the holiday season? New Years! What do people do at New Years?”

Ashlynn joked, “Get drunk?”

Lavena added, “Get groped by strangers?”

The receptionist maintained her professionalism, but clearly she wanted to roll her eyes. “Resolutions! What’s the number one resolution in this country? Actually, I’ll answer that. Weight loss.”

Cera inquired, “So, women our age come in here a lot to take those classes because…?”

The receptionist finished her thought, “Well, apparently it gets harder as you get older. Like, if you don’t do it now, you better be happy with your body as it is ’cause most likely it’s here to stay.”

The three women looked down at their body and analyzed it. Cera seemed reasonably pleased, but Ashlynn and Lavena looked less confident. They looked at the paper she handed them. Lavena asked, “So, you said it was ‘Power Yoga’?”

Ashlynn and Lavena roped Tadd into attending the class. Tadd wore black sweats and a black tee shirt, Lavena wore cotton shorts and a tank top, and Ashlynn wore a spaghetti strap with an off-brand Addidas pants. They all carried old towels too. When they walked in, everyone in the class had on very slim-fitting yoga pants with matching workout tops. They also all had yoga mats. Everyone was either meditating or stretching. Tadd, Ashlynn, and Lavena felt under dressed and under prepared. Lavena whispered, “Should we stretch or…?”

They sat awkwardly for a moment. The yoga instructor walked in and sat her yoga mat in front of the class. She looked very nice and at peace with herself, and everyone could tell she was older but a much younger appearance. The class stood in the center of their mats in very straight postures. The three did the same on their towels. The instructor began, “Namaste, class!”

“Namaste!” they chanted back. The other three felt awkward since they did not know the routine.

The instructor noticed this. “We have some newcomers! Welcome! This is a very fasted paced class, but do not worry! Simply mimic my moves, they are easy enough.” They mentally prepared to keep up with her. “Okay…chair!” The instructor and the class bent their knees and angled their bodies and arms so it created a ninety degree angle. Tadd, Lavena, and Ashlynn studied the class to get the pose correct. Before they could finish the pose, the lady instructed, “Twisting chair!” They put their hands together and twisted their backs so that their elbow touched their bent knees. Tadd, Lavena, and Ashlynn had trouble maneuvering their bodies so that it made the pose without falling. The instructor continued, “Step your left food back for twisting lunge!”

The class did it easily. Lavena and Tadd gave up. Ashlynn sort of got it down and got excited. She immediately fell down into the person next to her. The instructor continued to call out poses as if nothing happened. Ashlynn picked up her towel. “I’d rather be fat!” She walked out.

 

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