The Terra-Belle Ghost, Chapter 1

Hey, you’re back! I got another question for you: What does a ghost like most about going to a party? Did you say boo-ze? Well, that’s wrong for several reasons! One, I know the play on words with boos and booze seems cute, but really, a ghost is nothing more than a haunting image of someone’s former self, so how can they drink anything? They’re more likely to enjoy boos at a bash, but how much fun would it be for them to go to a large event and then merely heckle the attendees? And who started the rumor that all they can say is boo? If a version of a deceased person comes back to Earth, why would that be the only phrase they can utter? Was a ghost from early history upset about their demise, booed it, and made the dude witnessing it get the impression that this is what ghosts do? The real answer to that dad joke is their favorite part of festive fetes is disappearing from them! Trust me, ghosts don’t want to hang around anything with high levels of merriment! In the beginning of my last book, I wanted to immediately impress upon you how much I knew about vampires, and today, I’m doing the same for ghosts! I have a ghost story that probably won’t give you chills, but it’s still worth a read!

            Do you remember what happened in the last novel? Well, in case you forgot, the basic summary is that my desperate attempt to win back my ex-wife led me to saving a high school from an inept but completely demented vampire. If you didn’t read The Terra-Belle Vampire, that probably sounded completely insane! It makes more sense if you checked out the last installment, I swear! In fact, I’m going to highly recommend you go read it and then get back to this one! If you’ve already taken a look at it, or you’re too lazy to peruse it for the first time, the drama went down like this… I met a girl in college, and after graduation, I got married to her and to a new sales job. Eventually, she got unhappy and cheated on me (Or she could have been doing it all along, who knows!), and I wanted to prove to her that I could do a career that took up less of my life, so I quit my position as a high-level businessman at a prestigious marketing firm and became a substitute teacher. Surprisingly enough (Well, surprising to me, everyone else probably saw it coming!), it didn’t work! I didn’t get her back, but I did get a vampire problem…

            Apparently, this guy named Damon Karro fell in love with a lady named Martha, but she dumped him when she found out he was a vampire. Totally bitter and scorned about the breakup, he tried to punish her by killing himself in the most dramatic way possible- by going into a haunted house and having the demons that possessed it do him in! What happened instead- they gave him the power to get revenge on Martha by enrolling him in the high school where she taught English literature, allowing him to prey on the students that she loved. I subbed for her while she recovered from the heart attack Damon gave her from this reveal, and I accidentally stumbled across his plot! I bought the house across the street from his spooky headquarters, not believing in the rumors that spread across town, but after witnessing a vampire transformation… Let’s just say I became a hard-core believer! So, my pathetic attempt to win back that tramp morphed into me being the only one who knew about the existence of this monstrous threat! The responsibility fell on my lap to solve the conundrum, and initially, I thought I’d have to do it alone. I mean, if I went up to someone and requested assistance in slaying some mythical beings, they would have thought I lost my mind! Luckily, I found some help at exactly the right juncture, which was a super good thing since I normally fainted at the sight of blood…

            I managed to convince five of my new coworkers to lend a hand! They didn’t buy into the whole blood-sucker concept at the onset of this journey, but they went along with it since they felt compelled to aid authorities in the rapidly growing number of kids vanishing from the school. Once they learned the truth, they stuck around to finish this cumbersome debacle! It wasn’t so easy to do at our age, but somehow, we managed to foil all of his schemes one by one! I made some new best friends (because you can’t go through something like that together and not bond a little!), and they gave me an endorsement for a permanent position in this new business program that Rosemary King High decided to create! So, the vampire gig totally sucked (in many different ways!), but I got some buddies and new occupational calling out of it! Oh, and there was one other perk to this entire ordeal…

            Phoebe Caracy! She’s the woman of my dreams! She teaches American Lit, which was right next to the classroom I was subbing in! The moment I saw her, I became breathless! Literally! It was in front of a child and very embarrassing! It took ages for me to let go of my ex tramp, but the more I got to know her, the more I loved her! She’s smart, funny, a blast to hang out with, and, of course, f’ing gorgeous! And she shares my taste in music! Classic rock is one my passions; I listen to it very frequently, especially when I need to relax, and it amazed me to discover an attractive woman who appreciates this interest! We got together shortly after I defeated Damon, and a couple months later, she moved in with me! Well, she was there practically every day anyways, so all in all, it wasn’t a huge transition! Plus, it saved her a ton of money on rent! Okay, well, sort of… We’ve been putting a lot of our paychecks into repairing the home since my place… correction, our place… needed a ton of fixing! Pretty much everything broke down, and I’m no handyman, so our extra income is basically spent on contractors and mechanics! That’s alright though- five months later and we’re still happy and going strong! You’d imagine that my happily ever after would station itself there, but that saga was only the start to our misadventure…

            Oh, my name is Connor, by the way! Connor Fenmore! Did I forget to mention that? I did! Hmm… There’s not such of a marvelous spot to throw it in during the exposition… Oh well! I’m forty years old, and I live in Terra Belle, Pennsylvania. I’m originally from Philadelphia, and I sued to not have such a favorable opinion of this city. I nicknamed it Terrible, but after half a year here, it’s grown on me, so I stopped using that moniker. A little about me: I have black, clean-cut hair with maybe a fleck of gray here and there. I used to be adamant about dying it to hide those blemishes, but now I imagine it’d be strange to see a school teacher without a hint of silver in their locks! I have a muscular body… mostly! I haven’t had as many opportunities to work out as I used to, unless you count running for my life every now and then! My old job had a gym in the building, and my new one does too, but it’s not built for the teachers’ use! I still have a fairly in-shape appearance, but I might have grown a dad doughy in a few sections after the last book… My green eyes are still equally as pretty nowadays as they were previously! Anyways, enough about me! You’d rather hear about my ghost excursion, which truly got set in motion on a random day in March…

            I came home earlier than Phoebe and cooked a really lavish meal, complete with a diamond ring, and since the kitchen was right next to the front door, I kept an ear out for her arrival. I wanted to set up everything perfectly before she got here! I went the extra mile of plating her food in a way to make it more appetizing as well as keeping my surprise for her hidden until the right moment, and I spent more minutes than I normally would have setting the dishes at the ideal angle on the table. I brought out a tablecloth and candles to make that small space above the living room seem extra enchanting too. Once I lit the wicks, I could hear her car pull up, so I speedily stripped off all of my clothes (all of our most romantic escapades entailed a passionate romp followed by a ravishing repast) and waited for her on the small stoop that separated the two rooms with a rose in my mouth. She took longer than usual to make her entrance, so my out of the ordinary stance drew out the curiosity of my little black cat. As she sniffed my arms, I tried to tell her, “Not now, Jett!” I don’t know if the muffle effect from the flower made me too difficult to understand or if she was ignoring my demands in the most cat-like fashion possible, but she rubbed against my hands, indicating that she wanted to get pet. I attempted to move her, but she refused! I spat the rose out of my mouth and commanded, “Jett, out!” Her feelings got hurt, but she didn’t go far, which stressed me out! I needed this night to be flawless, I couldn’t let anything spoil it!

            The doorknob turned, and my heart pounded wildly! This was it- the big occasion! I already knew I was going to marry her someday, but the definitive determination of this occurrence had finally come to pass! I knocked on wood that she hadn’t realized that she could do better than me and prayed that she would say yes to my proposal! I became more nervous than anything I had ever done in my life! Not even the most high-stake sale topped this! I did use the same techniques to buoy my confidence about the outcome though! Finally, she appeared into the vicinity, and this plus-sized goddess made my pulse skyrocket! Her outfit gloriously displayed her thick but curvaceous body, and her chestnut hair cascaded so elegantly onto her shoulders! Her light-beige skin glowed like an angel, and her golden-brown eyes completely seduced me with the bubbling sensuality that sparkled beneath the surface… Well, at least, I thought it was sensuality! Upon closer inspection, she seemed rather irritated about something, and she wasn’t exactly by herself…

            “This is my new… Oh jeez!” Phoebe swiftly made the camera on her phone face in the other direction, and I fell backwards into the living room when I realized that we had company! Jett got offended by my move, hissed, and scurried off as I scrambled to get my clothing back on, and Phoebe addressed the audience on her video call, “I’ll show you in a second!”

            “Phoebe, what’s going on?” a man with a slight Texas drawl probed. “Why are you showing us your chest?”

            She raised the camera up further and then corrected him, “It was my collarbone!”

            An older woman’s voice opined, “you could really use some better lotion, dear!”

            “Sure, Mom!” Phoebe exasperatedly sighed as I ran up to her my wardrobe back on, and I saw that she was speaking to a couple in the sixties with gaudy but rustic garments that preceded a view of an aged and very worn vehicle. The woman had a rich resemblance to Phoebe, but her male companion did not. He had a wavy, straw-like mane and a sunken-in set of blue eyes, and his general visage reminded me of a creepy scarecrow- definitely not one of Phoebe’s blood-relatives! Phoebe introduced us, “Mom, Blaise, this is my boyfriend, Connor! Connor, this is my mom, Miriam, and her husband, Blaise!”

            “Hi!” I greeted them somewhat breathily.

            Miriam gushed, “Oh Phoebe, he’s really cute!”

            Blaise didn’t partake in those sentiments. “Puppies are cute, Miriam! And he may be handsome, but there are more important qualities that one should consider in a life partner! Tell me, Connor, have you found peace with your creator?”

            “Uh…” It wasn’t clear to me whether he meant my parents or my religion, so I didn’t know how to reply to that!

            “No, we’re not doing that!” Phoebe cut that line of questioning short, which I felt grateful for! “Oh look, Connor made dinner!” She sat down rather speedily, and I couldn’t distinguish if she simply meant to change the subject or if she was hinting around to her parents to end this conversation. She sat at the table but didn’t touch her food, and a part of me wished that Blaise or Miriam would permit her to eat in front of them so that they could witness the grand development…

            Miriam asked her, “So, have you heard from your sister lately?” Phoebe cringed at the prolonged nature of this discussion, and I now grew impatient about this interaction! This was a once in a lifetime experience, and I disliked its delay by idle talk! Plus, Phoebe obviously didn’t dig this happenstance, and I would have preferred for her to be in a pleasant mood for this exciting transaction!

            Phoebe grabbed her fork as she answered, “Yeah, I saw on her page that she got engaged recently. Apparently, this doofus got the brilliant idea of putting the ring in her food!” I began to panic! I didn’t know that my method of proposing wasn’t unique to her world! “Why do people think that’s a smart way to do it? She nearly choked on it, and when they finally got it out of her, it was covered in cheese and stuff! So unromantic!” She almost gathered a bite from the section of her meal that I hid the ring in…

            “Well, this dinner is bad! Let me take care of it!” I grabbed her dish before she could proceed any further!

            “What’s wrong with it?” Phoebe queried.

            I lied, “It’s… burnt!” I inwardly admonished myself for that one! It was pasta, who burns pasta?

            Phoebe noted, “It seemed fine to me…”

            “Trust me, I burned it!” I insisted. She raised her eyebrows at me but then returned to her phone call. I discretely slipped the ring out, and as it laid on the counter, I observed bits of cheese on it, which led me to believe that she had a point about this means of proposal!

            “Listen, I gotta get going,” she told Blaise and Miriam. “I’m gonna have to order a pizza apparently. Let me know when you get a place to live!”

            I had been in the middle of shoveling the entirely fine pasta down the garbage disposal when I caught that last bit, and it made me completely freeze! Her folks didn’t have anywhere to stay? She said that so casually, but it invoked a deep sense of pity from me! “Wait, you’re homeless?”

            Blaise informed me, “Yes, we are! We got kicked out of home a few days ago, and we’re living in the truck ‘til we figure out what we’re gonna do…”

            Phoebe perceived what I was about to do, and she stepped away from the camera’s view in order to heavily gesture to me not to do it. I couldn’t fathom why, especially when Blaise and Miriam stared at me with such sad eyes! I couldn’t help it, I felt compelled to make them an offer, “We have an extra room. You could use it while you sort everything out.”

            “Really?” Miriam chirped as Phoebe’s face fell. “Oh hon, we’ll have a roof over our heads!”

            “Trucks have roofs, Miriam,” Blaise pointed out before gratefully regarding me, “We really appreciate it!”

            Phoebe looked positively livid, so I instantly regretted my choice as I conveyed to them, “Oh, no problem!”

            In a falsely sweet voice, Phoebe stated, “We’ll see you guys soon! ‘Kay, bye!” She hung up and faced me with an obvious rise in fury, and I knew I severely messed up! I didn’t get a fiancée that day, but I got something else… I promise it has something to do with ghosts! You’ll find out why soon…

7 thoughts on “The Terra-Belle Ghost, Chapter 1

  1. mic says:


  2. Zakia Attia says:

    Hello Dana Kindly check your Sunshine blogger award nomination here:

  3. Jen says:

    My follower ghost loves coffee and lasagna. One time Linda made a beeline straight through me when I was sitting at my desk eating pastichio — a Greek lasagna essentially. She’s so funny.

  4. […] The Terra-Belle Ghost, Chapter 1 […]

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