Crimes of the Fay II, Chapter 17

Gray! It was gray! I thought the worst case scenario would have been pink or blue, but I had no inkling that the pregnancy test spell could produce a result far worse than a baby coming along at the worst possible juncture! This outcome was much more of a nightmare than the other one- at least there I could have accepted the truth, ugly cried a little, and moved on, but with this, the wound would stay wide open for an indeterminate span! From that point to who knew when, I would ceaselessly wonder if I was about to bring another person into this world or not!

Harper posed to the adults in the room, “What does that mean? She’s gonna give birth to a robot?”

“Yes! She’s about to bring a bouncing baby bot into existence!” Laraleigh sarcastically responded to her daughter.

“Really?” Harper’s eyes widened with interest upon that pronouncement.

Laraleigh grumbled, “Of course not! Harper, can you use your brains for something besides shenanigans?”

Aidan inquired, “What does that mean?”

“It means that it’s inconclusive,” Mom illuminated him. “The magic can’t tell if the hormones in her urine is from a pregnancy or not.”

“How could it not know?” Kinsey speculated. “For real, you’re either pregnant or you’re not, right?”

I lauded her sentiments, “Good question!” I popped the bubble with venom, and I stared at the still bubbling fluid not knowing if I wanted to hurl it against the wall and yell a series of obscenities or if I wanted to simply curl into a fetal position and sob about my misfortune!

Minna suggested, “Perhaps using a child’s wand caused the ambiguity. We could test it again using one from an adult.”

“No!” I shut that idea down instantly. “I just… I can’t! I’m so stressed, I can’t do another hex tonight! I’d probably turn the entire building into a kumquat or something!”

“Cool!” Mason gazed at me expectantly as if he was sincerely anticipating this occurrence.

The fact that he was a mere kid didn’t cross my thoughts- all I could think of was everyone’s mistreatment lately! They didn’t take my reports of spotting Wade seriously, insulted the choices I made as a juvenile, criticized my research, and, to top it all off, they gleefully hoped I would mess up for their entertainment! I snatched the cup and swore wildly as I flung it against the bathroom door, and then I curled myself into a ball and started bawling! Oh, I didn’t consider that I could’ve done both possibilities when I was debating on what I wanted to do! Aidan immediately picked me up, and as I cried into his arms, I caught sight of Mason’s apprehensive expression, and a memory involving him flashbacked to me. “Didn’t you say you have to use the toilet?”

With his eyesight flickering to his lower half, Mason told me, “Nah, I’m okay now…!”

“Oh jeez!” Laraleigh huffed, and then she took her wand out and cleaned her son up.

“Maybe we should give Shannon some quiet tonight,” Mom proposed. Finally! “Do you all feel like you can do that for her?”

Willow gave her an honest reply, “No.”

Mom clicked her tongue in annoyance, and then she grabbed a mop and bucket to take upstairs. Minna volunteered, “I can take them outside for a while.”

“I dunno, it’s beginning to get dark…” Laraleigh fretted.

“The locals all believe magical creatures roam the streets at night, but I’m sure it’s all just urban legends,” Aidan opined. “Worst thing on our farmlands is probably gonna be all of them!”

The younglings all nodded vigorously in agreement. Laraleigh bit her lip in worry, but eventually she relented, “Alright! But if you see those warrior spirits or anything spooky, come back inside!”

Harper whispered to Minna, “Do we have to?”

Minna loudly stated, “Absolutely!” In a more hushed tone, she articulated to Harper, “We’ll talk out there!”

Once they left, I observed total silence until I detected the squeaking of the staircase. I glanced over, and I saw that Mom and Laraleigh had come up with cleaning supplies. They didn’t go straight over to the mess I made thought- they stood at the foot of the stairs in a somewhat awkward manner as though they were trying to cover up their evaluation of my emotional status! Mom rather clumsily conveyed to me, “Gotta get the pee out. You know, I’m not so good with jinxes, so I gotta use the slow method!”

Mom nervously chuckled, and Laraleigh joined her as they awaited my reaction. I didn’t know what to tell them that wouldn’t turn me into a total witch! They were obviously excited by the prospect of me getting into a family way, and I got the impression that they had no clue why I would feel so devastated by this development! Honestly, I had no energy to explain it to them, and I was not willing to elicit the patience required to listen to them rationalizing their actions! Furthermore, my anger inhibited me from appreciating their sympathy, so I decided to exit the conversation prior to it even initiating, “I wanna be alone!”

I pushed past the pair of ladies and bounded downwards, and seconds later, I overheard Aidan doing the same move. Laraleigh reminded him, “She said she wants to be alone right now!”

“I don’t count in that!” Aidan justified himself. “Shannon has never said no to alone time with me!”

“Gross!” Kinsey shouted from outside.

Aidan ordered her, “Go play!” He pulled back the curtain to the closet, and when he espied me sitting on the floor, he closed the curtain and mimicked my posture. After a minute or so, he noted, “Wow! We can both sit comfortably in here! This place is bigger than I remembered!” I twisted my mouth in a bid to emit a grin, but I’m pretty sure all I did was make a weird face! Aidan then asked me, “Yeah… so, what happens next?”

I answered, “I dunno! Normally, when I’m this upset, I have a giant glass of wine!” Aidan tittered slightly, and shortly afterwards, we each got a notification on our phones. I pulled mine out of my pocket, and the homescreen was lit up due to a text from Clifton checking in with us. “Oh man! What the hell do I say to him? Ugh, I’ll have to tell Agent Hearne too!”

As I buried my forehead into my hands, Aidan asserted, “You don’t have to reveal anything yet! For all we know, you’re just overly constipated! I wouldn’t mention that or they’ll enter it into government records!”

His quip made me chortle, and I actually found my disposition had gotten a tad elevated! It wasn’t so much that I enjoyed his humor, although I did in this instance since it was clever and not corny like usual, it simply lightened my spirits to hear someone at least acknowledge one of my claims as plausible! He was completely correct too- I don’t want my potty problems in any official files! It traumatized me enough when Ben got caught screwing a suspect in my first murder case and the entire police force had awareness of our marital drama! I wished it had been more of a shock to them when we got a divorce! Well, a certificate of widowship since he died and became a Fay, it was complicated! Anyways, They couldn’t know what was happening with me at the present because I wasn’t even certain about it myself! But I needed to be though… “I’ll have to book an appointment with an ob/gyn and get a more precise test done! If there’s an embryo in there, we’ll prepare for the next steps, but if there isn’t… Well, they went to medical school, didn’t they? They’d be able to prescribe me something to help me poo, huh?” Aidan and I guffawed at that concept, and then I probed, “What do we do ‘til then though?”

“We solve the mystery of where Lake Ana Wai disappeared to!” Aidan proclaimed. He then encouraged me, “Pretend like we’re on duty. What would you have us do going forward?”

“I’d take a look at the evidence. The evidence always has a logical next step to take! But… in this case, there really isn’t much to go on…” I mulled it over briefly, and then I made a stark realization! “Of course we don’t have much to go on! We haven’t even seen the original crime scene!”

Aidan beamed at my breakthrough, and he affirmed, “Alright! It looks like we got some new plans for tomorrow! Initially, we were gonna… I don’t know! Did we plan anything for Saturday? Hmm…!” We both broadcasted our amusement over his remark, and I found solace in having a productive agenda to distract me from all of my recent woes!

The next morning, Aidan woke up on our pushed together cots by himself. I didn’t see him- I merely knew this because I was on the kitchen counter with a box of donuts on my lap when everyone had been sleeping! He peeked over the ledge, and I merrily waved hello. Aidan peered at me curiously, and then he asked me, “Getting cravings, eh?”

“No!” I answered while munching on one of the delectable pastries. “I didn’t even know these were here! I couldn’t sleep, so I went down here to look for something sugary to keep me awake, and I found them!” I grabbed the last confectionary, and then I flung the box onto the floor and muttered, “I still feel tired!”

“Uh, I hope this doesn’t become a habit…” Aidan eyeballed the empty carton warily. “I mean, it’s gonna make your constipation worse, and-.”

I snapped, “Hey! I can’t go home, I can’t pour myself into my work, and I can’t drink myself into oblivion anymore- binging on fatty foods is all I’ve got!”

Aidan threw his hands up defensively. “Fine, fine! It’s fine!” I doubt he meant that, and in hindsight, he was totally correct, but in that moment, I would’ve gotten extra cranky if he attempted to take away my only source of comfort! Well, my only source other than Aidan, obviously, but he was unconscious when I needed solace, so… Aidan cleared his throat, and then he propositioned, “Well, since we’re both up, do you wanna go check out that lake?”

“You’re going to a lake?” Jackson groggily petitioned us. “I wanna go too!”

“There’s no water there,” Aidan apprised him. “It’s all dried up.”

Jackson queried, “You’re gonna visit some empty land then?”

Aidan confirmed, “Basically, yeah!”

“Boring!” Jackson commented. “Why would you wanna do that?”

“We… We’re trying to learn about the land around us,” I explicated to him, which wasn’t even a lie! I simply didn’t add why our ambitions prompted us to explore the grounds! “If you don’t picture that being very interesting, then you don’t-.” Jackson’s renewed snores caused the finish to my sentence to become pointless, so I shrugged and then communicated to Aidan, “I’m ready to go whenever you are!”

Aidan responded, “Just let me eat a quick breakfast.” He viewed me finishing up the remaining baked good, and he enquired, “Is there anything still there?”

I sardonically giggled at his joke. “Nope! I ate every single thing!” I opened the refrigerator, and for a flash, I grew anxious that I did, indeed, devour the household’s only supply for a morning meal, but then, when I opened up the cupboard on the other side of me, I breathed a sigh of relief! “Phew! There’s some muffins here! Ooh, muffins sound yummy…!” Aidan magicked them out of my palms and up to his lofty position, which offended me slightly. “Did you really believe I’d gobble up those in addition to everything I just consumed?” Aidan took a huge bite out of his repast and uttered some incoherent words to me. I shook my head, and then I slipped off of the counter in order to get dressed.

We walked by Lopaka’s ranch, and I gazed at the bovines that had nestled in the grass for their slumber. “Interesting! I always assumed they slept standing up! So, how do people go cow tipping then?”

Aidan gestured to me his uncertainty on the topic. “No clue! But if you do figure it out, for heaven’s sake, don’t disclose it to my sister’s minions!”

I snickered at that, and following soon after that, I spotted a sign that read: Aracauna Kahuna. “Sweet! We’re getting close to the egg farm! Whew! If we do this trek another day, we should drive the truck to-.” Suddenly, I stepped on a crunchy substance! I winced, and then I quizzed Aidan, “Does Hawaii have gigantic bugs that would make that sound when they’re smooshed?” Aidan indicated that he wasn’t positive, and a sinking feeling began to form at the pit of my stomach! I raised my shoe up and prayed that I hadn’t accidentally broken something of importance…

2 thoughts on “Crimes of the Fay II, Chapter 17

  1. Jen says:

    Cow-tipping lol — makes me think of that one Beavis & Butthead episode 🙂

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