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INT. DEPARTMENT STORE. MORNING.
CLOSE UP on the television, where Daniel is speaking to the crowd.
The problem with society is we have too
many people who succumb to sin. These
sinners are the reason there is so much
crime and moral decay. Therefore, we must
tighten the leash. It may seem harsh at first,
but with the improvements I’d make, you’d
see how much better off your lives are! You
can sleep sounder when all sinners have
been found and punished!
The crowd on the television cheers. ZOOM OUT to Renee, Curtis, and a couple others watching the television set. A worker in that area shoos them away.
Come on, guys! You know the new
rules. Don’t be lazy-keep shopping!
Curtis and Renee are forced to obey. Renee and Curtis see another employee boxing up a lot knick-knacks and decorations. They both feel disappointed by this site.
EXT. PARK. AFTERNOON.
Tiffany sits alone on a park bench. Behind her is grass and a tree. There is a neat, winding path before her. PETITIONER ( a young man with long hair and hemp clothing) sits beside her.
Will you sign this petition to ban
Uh, no. Why would you wanna do that?
This teeth decay festival will spawn
ideas for moral decay later on.
What? That doesn’t even make-
She stops when she notices his glossy eyes. She pulls out her nail file and pretends to file her nails.
Halloween is just innocent fun!
Innocent! There’s nothing innocent about-
Tiffany tries to stab him with the nail file. He grabs her fist and holds her back. They struggle for a moment. The petitioner tries to breathe fire on her, so she springs away. He gets off the bench and tries again, so she throws a rock at his head. While he is distracted by this pain, she runs across the bench to stab him. He pushes her down. She twists her ankle and cannot get up. She can roll herself away from the fire but cannot grab her weapon to fight. Renee appears and slits his throat. The dragon dies. Curtis kneels beside Tiffany.
Can you stand on it?
Let me help you up.
She grabs his shoulder, and they both get up. Renee looks annoyed.
Can I get the keys to your car so
I can take her back to Crossgrove
She throws the keys at him.
I’m going to find Washington.
She leaves in kind of a huff. Curtis finds her behavior odd. He helps Tiffany walk to the car.
INT. REBEL HIDEOUT. EVENING.
Miguel slumps in a small chair, looking dirty and exhausted. Curtis enters with Tiffany hobbling inside.
I was fighting another dragon. I think
I broke my ankle.
Let me look at it.
Miguel has her sit in his chair, and he looks at her ankle.
It’s not broken, just bruised. All you
need is to rest it a little.
So, I see you got the generator going.
Yeah, it put up a good fight, but in the end,
I kicked its ass! Where’s Warner?
She went off to find Washington.
Yeah, she seemed pretty ticked off
She was alright until we got to the park.
Miguel raises his eyebrows with a knowing look.
I don’t get it.
I kind of thought this might happen.
What are you-?
William and Renee burst in with rain soaked clothes.
Turn on the radio, right now!
Miguel turns it on.
NEWS ANCHOR (OS):
…like Daniel predicted. In other news,
a terrorist suspect who would give out
his last name, Abdul, was obtained
near City Hall earlier tonight. He
refuses to comment on his actions
and spat in a police officer’s face. His
accomplices are still unknown. So, he
will be going to prison alone.
In sports news…
Miguel turns off the radio, looking angry.
This is just because he’s Arab!
They saw me with him. They know he’s
not a terrorist. It’s just a great excuse
to arrest him.
He’s so brave to keep his silence about
us! I can’t imagine what kind of torture
they’re putting him through right now!
Think he’ll live?
After so much torture, I don’t know if
he’ll want to!
Everyone looks very gloomy.
EXT. GEORGE WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY. LATE NIGHT.
Curtis walks across campus with Simpson. The campus seems empty.
Do you think Cartwright is eighteen?
Why? You think she’s hot?
Hell yeah! Don’t you?
No. She’s got a pretty face, but I like
curves. Like an hour glass-big chest,
small waist, and big hips! Tiffany has a
girl’s body, but I like a woman’s body!
Before Curtis could finish his thoughts, they find a campus monitor standing before them. The overhead lights cast a shadow over his face.
Are you guys students?
It’s past curfew; get to your dorm!
Curtis steps closer, and he can see his eyes. They are glossy. He signals to Simpson, and they both draw out weapons. The campus monitor has a tazor, and he hits Simpson with it. Simpson is sent to the ground, twitching. Curtis tries to gash him, but the campus monitor moves. He tries to tazor Curtis, but Curtis moves, so it hits a tree. The tree catches on fire. Curtis tries again, but the campus monitor is barely nicked. He smirks at Curtis. Simpson trips him, which makes him fall. Curtis stands above him to stab him, but he shoots fire at him. Curtis moves, and it hits the tree again. A fiery branch falls down and hits Simpson, who catches on fire.
The campus monitor grabs Curtis from behind. Curtis manages to pry him off and throws him into the fiery tree. The campus monitor burns his skin off to reveal his dragon form, which also gets burned to death. Curtis turns to Simpson, but Simpson has died. Curtis hears a firetruck coming and, though he is out of breath, he runs away.
EXT. ELECTRONICS SHOP. NIGHT.
Miguel, Renee, William, Abdul, and Tiffany are all waiting outside the entrance of a small electronic store in Eastern Market. Tiffany and Abdul are peering inside the shops. William paces around while Miguel and Renee talk with their swords out and covered in green blood. Everyone looks tired. Curtis comes up to them. Renee and Miguel stop talking and William stops pacing.
Curtis tries to answer but cannot seem to get the words out.
Is he dead?
There was a fire…
William puts a supportive hand on his shoulder.
I know, man. I-
Hey, you guys should see this!
William, Curtis, Renee, and Miguel go over to the window and watch the television in the window display. Daniel is on there, greeting a bunch of media people with a grin.
…and with the momentum Daniel
Ramrod has produced with the case,
he has earned a lot of write-in votes
on the mayoral race…
The six look at each other gravely.
They leave with Daniel’s face still on the screen.
INT. REBEL HIDEOUT. NIGHT.
William and Abdul are talking about Simpson’s death. Tiffany talks with Miguel, upset that her kidnapper is running for mayor. Curtis notices Renee is sitting by herself facing away from everyone. He sits beside her, and he sees that her tearful eyes are looking out the door and up at the stars.
Are you okay?
It all seems so futile…
Two people have died, but we gained
one. Not mention we’ve killed more of
them than they’ve killed of us.
Yes, but at the rate that it’s going, they’ll
kill us all. And if Daniel becomes mayor,
he will get so much more. We are
heavily out numbered. What’s the point?
The point is even if we all die, we will let
the world know that we stood up for the
forgotten society. We fought like heroes
to restore things to the way it used to be.
Anyways, I bet you anything we’re going
to gain numbers because the dragons
will screw up and people will look to the
only alternative, which is us. We’ll get
more numbers, you’ll see.
I used to be optimistic like you, but when
my parents fought and lost against a
dragon, I began to rethink my own future.
I keep wondering…why me? Why was I meant
to survive and be stuck in such misery?
Be glad that you were given a second chance,
and use every chance you can to help people.
You’re parents would’ve wanted it that way.
I believe you’re going to do great things
because you’ve already proven your
potential. Don’t just sit there and accept
bad omens. Defy them and do whatever
you can to prove them wrong. And
remember, you don’t gotta do this alone. I
can’t speak for everyone, but I can promise
I’ll always be there for you if you need me.
He holds her hand in a comforting way. She does not know how to react. Suddenly, the lights go out, and it is pitch black.
Damn generator! Does anyone got a lighter?
I got a flashlight!
Curtis digs in his pockets and pulls out a flashlight. He turns it on, and Renee sees that it is a Lion King flashlight.
Oh hell no!
Curtis laughs and shrugs. Miguel uses the flashlight to pull out some candles. Renee uses her lighter to light them.
I’ll go take a look at the generator.
It starts to rain.
I’ll look at it in the morning. Let’s all
go to bed. Remember, tomorrow is a new
day. It could be the day we gain the
advantage over those creeps. Or, at least,
it’ll get us one step closer.
Everyone says goodnight to each other and picks out there spot to sleep. Curtis lays looking up at the ceiling, lost in thought. He sees Renee is still awake.
I’ve decided something.
I don’t care if everyone thinks I’m
a serial killer. I’ll be like Robin Hood!
I like that, actually!
Renee laughs, and so does Curtis.
Good night, killer!
Renee closes her eyes. Curtis lies down, smirking in a proud way.
INT. REBEL HIDEOUT. NIGHT.
William, Miguel, Abdul, and Simpson are spread around the hideout looking distraught. Renee and Curtis enter. Everyone looks relieved but still sad. William looks especially morose.
Thank God you made it back!
Did you think we got killed?
They turn their attention to the radio.
…tonight in Georgetown. Julie Nalice, a
local student, was brutally stabbed. The
suspects, Renee Warner and an unknown
male accomplice, are still at large. Our
source says they may be connected
to our recent serial killings.
I saw them running out of the Morning
Star apartments right after the
landlady’s body was found.
We’ll have more at eleven.
Miguel turns the radio off. Renee kicks a stool in anger. Curtis sits down, thinking.
See! I told you shit like this happens!
No one calls you a hero when you
Just be glad you’re alive! We ran into
a dragon at this liquor store. We
drove it out of the store into an
empty street, and I managed to
kill it, but as he was falling, he
shot out fire at Smith. Smith is
dead. I couldn’t save her.
He hides his face. Renee’s mood softens. Curtis looks shocked.
Does this happen often?
Yes. It’s war. Not everyone survives.
Curtis looks deep in thought. Everyone mourns the loss of Smith.
INT. REBEL HIDEOUT. MORNING.
Curtis wakes up and sees that everyone but Miguel is asleep. Miguel is cooking oatmeal in a pot over a fire. Miguel smiles at him when he sees him.
How’d you sleep?
Alright, I guess.
I heard you talking in your sleep.
Yeah. Renee bumped into you, and
you said, “Do you want a mug or a
deck of cards?”
Oh. It was a promo at my old job.
I spent way too much time there!
Eight hours a day with no break.
Minimum wage too.
Ouch! No wonder you were excited
to join us.
Not only for that; I believe in the cause!
Why did you start the Rebellion?
Me? Well, I used to live with my
boyfriend, Josh. One day, he comes
home, and he acted totally different.
He used to be so cheerful and nice,
then suddenly he became mean
and belligerent. I noticed his eyes
were glossy too. The day came when
I decided to confront him. I found him
in the parking lot in front of his work
at the gym and we argued. I grabbed
his hand, and he took it away, which
ended up skinning him. I saw the
scaly skin, and I knew the real Josh
was dead. I fought him, and I ended
up killing him with my pocket knife.
Washington, who was part of an old
Rebellion, had seen the body, and after
we talked, I decided to start a new
Rebellion. Just the thought of that
happening to other people’s loved
ones was enough motivation for me.
Wow. That’s horrible. I can’t imagine
having to go through that. But it’s
amazing you turned something so
negative into a positive!
Adversity brings out the best in some
and the worst in others. Most people get
destructive either to themselves or others.
Very few people get constructive. We all did.
Curtis looks at Renee, who stirs in her sleep.
When she was twelve, she watched her
parents get killed. That’s when she
first joined the Rebellion. Can you
believe that? I can’t imagine being
that age and…
Miguel sees Curtis checking her out and laughs. He snaps his fingers in front of him, which wakes Curtis out of his stupor.
Sorry, I was just…
She’s pretty, don’t you think?
I view her as a fellow rebel!
William, who is laying with his eyes closed, laughs. He then wakes up.
Oatmeal! I thought I asked for
steak and eggs!
I’m putting you on a heart healthy diet!
William, Miguel, and Curtis laugh.
Oatmeal’s done. You guys can eat.
As they serve themselves, Abdul and Simpson hear the sound of food and wake up. Renee keeps sleeping while they eat. All of a sudden, she jolts out of her sleep with her dagger brandished. Everyone pretends to be taken aback by it.
How’d you guess?
She gets up to go eat.
Before we go get the new weapons,
I need to get my car.
We got it. We, uh, sort of hot wired it.
Don’t hurt me!
Everyone laughs. Even Renee titters.
INT. MADAME FATE’S ROOM.
The room looks like a dark, dank studio apartment. It has all the comforts of a home except for windows. There is a cage at the end of it where Joshua is. Babelsama is already there and smiles.
Welcome to eternity!
They here a whoosh outside.
I’m a resident here, and I welcomed
you, so your spirit guide went away.
But you’re not dead yet!
Yet? I will be immortal!
Anielle, George, and Toci pull out their scepters. Babelsama leers.
Don’t you think Dudley Dooright here
tried that already? Scepters don’t work
here! Only these!
Babelsama points a pitchfork at them, which sends them flying into the cage.
I missed you!
No! No happy reunion scenes! You’re
going to wait here for my girlfriend.
Can’t you just kill us now and get it
No. I can’t interfere with Fate. We’re
just going to keep here so you don’t
interfere with the take over. Then you’ll
live out your lives of misery.
Not that I wanna die, but wouldn’t it be
easier if you just killed us?
No. On Earth, you can be miserable. But
if you die, you goody-goodies will go to
Heaven, and I’d rather see you suffer!
There is a knock on the door. Babelsama opens it to see Peace Officers.
Ugh! Why do you guys always call
They didn’t. I did. And I can let them
in since I’m half goddess.
Yes, well too bad none of you are
any use against this!
Babelsama points the pitchfork at them, and they all get crammed into the cage. There is not a lot of room left.
Now, as we wait for Fate, would you guys
like something to eat?
He shows them a tray of appetizers.
What? I’m not going to kill you. I’m an
excellent cook. Ask him!
(points to Joshua)
It’s true, he is.
A couple of people sample his platter. Madame Fate enters.
You all are fools! Even if you kill
my earthly body, I will be reborn
again as an entirely different person
but with the same spirit.
Hey! I’m your daughter-why did I
Babelsama’s mistaken murder of your
friend doesn’t matter anymore! You’re
in the cage, and I’m in control! Now
Babelsama burps. There is some spit, which he wipes off.
Gross. Anyways, tonight, it is foretold
that we will conceive a child again! And
this one will live! So, nice try, heroes,
but game over, we win! Come, Babelsama,
let us fornicate so we may take our rightful
place on Earth!
They head into the bedroom. Everyone except Anielle turns away in disgust, trying not to listen. Meretrice looks to Anielle.
You don’t think that burp was…?
Wait for it, wait for it…
Beat. Madame Fate screams in disgust. Babelsama comes out of the room with his clothes disheveled.
Where did you get that STD?
Oh no! That party! I got all hazy and
I thought I dreamt of sleeping with a
younger version of you!
Younger version of me?
She looks over to Meretrice, who smiles and waves.
I used to wonder why I was abandoned
as a baby and why I always felt like I had
eyes watching me. Now it all makes sense.
I’m glad I didn’t grow up here! But, one
question remains-who’s my father?
Oh, some other idiot that tried to take
over the world. I can’t control Fate, I
only interpret it. The Big Man upstairs
gives you options, and it’s up to you what
to do about it, how far you can reach.
You were gonna end up a crazy cat lady
only if I succeeded. I guess I can’t avoid
Fate any more than the rest of you. I’m
gonna scrap this rusty old body and be
reborn again in a hundred years when this
really hot guy wants to take over the world!
Madame Fate takes her pitchfork and releases everyone.
I’m gonna need a death certificate
What about me?
You’re not gonna be popular
on campus anymore. Go ahead,
officers, arrest him.
The Peace Officers arrest him.
(to the main four)
Don’t get too comfortable;
I will be back!
Back in Hell, certainly.
(to the officers)
Oh, he can turn into a bat;
that’s how he escaped last time.
Babelsama growls. The Peace Officers leave. Anielle, Toci, George, and Joshua follow happily.
EXT. FAUK CLUB. NIGHT.
Everyone is waiting for the ceremony to start. Joshua gets on stage.
Hello! I’m still alive, but I’d like to
inform you that Babelsama was
responsible for not only my kidnapping
but the murder of an innocent woman.
So sorry, your cult is gonna have to
We’re not a cult! We are an organization
that moves to follow a glorious leader…
Oh damn, we are a cult!
Everyone walks away disappointed.
Does that mean I’m not gonna
sleep with someone famous?
Famous, no. But have you met
my friend Circe?
Circe hears her name and comes over to her.
Circe, meet Alberto.
EXT. BROOM FOOTBALL FIELD. NIGHT.
Toci, George, Anielle and Joshua walk across the field, not seeing the Peace Officers on the other end.
I thought I was gonna be a year
behind on my classes, but they said
since I helped improve their policies
that they’ll omit some of my classes!
At least after all this they’re gonna
start treating every murder equally.
Cassius walks up to them.
I’m really sorry I put your life
in danger, Frederick. If it makes
you feel any better, I was demoted
to Crime Solver Assistant.
It helps a little.
Anyways, can you identify this body?
They walk over to see Blanche’s body.
We just know her name is Blanche. How
did she die?
It appears she fell off her broom
after crashing into that goal post.
(whispers to Toci)
Is it bad if I’m not sorry she’s gone?
I mean, we just saw how happy
she is now!
Psst! Let me steal you for a minute!
Anielle and Joshua leave. Chad enters, frantically looking for Toci. Toci finds him and runs up to him.
She throws her arms around him and kisses him.
I heard about your rescue mission,
and I was certain I was going to lose
you! Tell me, when you were in Hell,
did you notice if premarital sex was
still a sin or not?
As long as it’s consensual and we’re
She hugs him gleefully.
EXT. BOTANICAL GARDEN. NIGHT.
Joshua leads her to a bridge over a small botanical garden. Strings of lights are hung along the trees, making a romantic glow. Joshua faces Anielle.
Anielle, there was something I wanted
to tell you before our little adventure.
I love you so much! You save me from
eternal torment, both literally and
figuratively. No one else had made me
feel this happy, this hopeful, this loved.
Before anything else crazy, happens I
want to give you something so you know
that no matter what happens, I will always
feel this way!
Joshua reaches into his pocket and gets down on one knee. Anielle gasps in anticipation. Joshua fights back joyful tears.
Will you marry me?
Yes, of course!
He puts the ring on her, and they share a passionate embrace. There is a flash of light, and they look over to see George taking a picture.
That was hot! Can you kiss her like
that again so I can get it from a
Shut up, you perv!
He hugs Joshua then Anielle.
I’m going to throw you a fiesta,
INT. DOG HOUSE. NIGHT.
A party unfolds to celebrate the engagement. Toci comes up to Anielle with a big grin on her face.
Oh no, why are you so happy?
I did it!
Ugh! You have to ruin everything!
Look, you don’t have to “act” Mexican
-you are Mexican! Just act like yourself
and stop trying to be a stereotype!
George sits down sadly as the girls go off to gossip. MARNIE (slim, Asian, good looking, casually dressed) sits next to him.
Apparently I’m not being a good
Oh, I hear that! My parents always
expect me to be a brainiac, like they
expect all Asians to grow up to be a
healer or accountant. But all I wanna do
is play Air Softball and drink beer! I’m
supposed to dress like a geisha, be all
proper and virginal. Sometimes all I
want is a good lay!
George looks at her with interest.
My name is George.
They shake hands and smile at each other.
EXT. DOG HOUSE. MORNING.
Anielle, George, Joshua, and Toci wake up on the lawn. George is in his boxers, Toci has a clump of plants in her hands and pockets, and Anielle and Joshua have switched clothes.
Ooh, I got Marnie’s phone number!
I have no idea! She better be hot!
What’s this? A business card for Meretrice’s
House of Love. Oh, must’ve taken over Madame
Fate’s old shop and became a madame. I love
how it has bookstore in quotes.
Well, let’s go pack and go home. Hopefully
the skies are clear and Babelsama doesn’t
ambush us on the way home! I hope his
next lair is some place nice, like a tropical
As long as he doesn’t interrupt our wedding,
Do you really thing he’ll be back again?
They laugh, get up, and walk inside. There is a glimmer in the sky. Scotty walks by and hisses at it. The glimmer fades away.
CUT TO CREDITS.
INT. HELL LOBBY.
They enter into a small lobby that sort of looks like a one window DMV with no chairs. The lobby is empty except for the CLERK. Anielle, George, and Toci walk towards the clerk but are interrupted when a man’s spirit (looks like a normal man but is transparent) pops up from the floor. He goes up to the clerk.
Welcome to Hell! Name please.
Hell? Why am I here?
I can tell you but first I need your
Well, maybe I won’t tell you and
then you gotta send me back!
Let’s see my scheduled deaths today.
The clerk looks at a clipboard.
Ah, you must be Bartholomew Baycity.
You’re here because you robbed a girl
scout, so that’ll be breaking the commandment
against stealing. Plus gluttony since you ate
all her cookies in one weekend.
You can go to Heaven if you apologize!
Whatever. Room 1112749. Bye!
The Spirit Man gets sucked back down.
Oh, livings! What brings you here
A man named Joshua Frederick
was taken captive here by Babelsama
and Madame Fate. We’re here to rescue him.
There’s only three ways you can go down to
Hell. One-if you’re invited by one of our
residences. Two-if you die. And three-if
you go through the tour with one our guides.
Don’t worry, the guides are technically angels-
like me! We choose to work here for the same
reason people choose to be peace officers-to
carry out justice. We live in Heaven though.
Good to know. We’ll do the tour then.
Very well. I’ll send in your guide.
Thanks for dropping by!
A door appears next to the window and out comes Blanche.
Wow, I thought I’d never see you
Blanche! But you’re not dead!
Someone needs to check the Broom
Football Field! Come-no one will harm
you as long as I’m around.
They reluctantly follow her through the door.
INT. LAYER ONE.
The first layer looks like a giant jungle around the edges with a giant field whose grass is half dead. People are running around, terrified.
This is layer one-which punishes crimes
against nature. Their spirits are involved
in a daily hunt where demons chase them
and if they’re caught, they are skinned and
made into the demon’s underwear. This
punishment serves a variety of sins, including
destroying habitats and cruelty to animals.
They see a demon ride across the field on a motorcycle. Blanche leads them down a flight of stairs.
INT. LAYER TWO.
This room looks like a giant movie theatre but again with no seats. People all watch a blank screen.
This is crimes against loved ones. Sinners
here are subjected to watch images they
find truly horrific. The sins here are for
people who do something to harm people
who love them-like child abuse or murdering
a spouse to collect the insurance money.
Octomom’s sex tape! Nooooooo!
Blanche leads them downstairs.
INT. LAYER THREE.
This room appears to be a demented, endless obstacle course.
Layer three is for sins against nations,
where leaders of any sort get punished
for cruelty to their people. It’s also for
citizens who commit treason or war crimes.
This obstacle course includes swimming
through acid and climbing a mountain of
thorns. There are hundreds of traps like this.
Blanche takes them downstairs again.
INT. LAYER FOUR.
This room appears to be a giant, medieval torture chamber. People cry out in pain and agony.
This is punishment for crimes against
humanity. This branch ranges from child
pornography all the way to sociopathic murder.
Blanche takes them downstairs.
INT. LAYER FIVE.
This layer is fire and brimstone. People in the lava try to escape but keep getting impeded by demons.
This is what most humans think of
when they think of Hell. It’s for crimes
against God. Basically, it’s a number of
sins done in the name of God. It includes
a sadistic religious group, perverting
religion to justify genocide, and many more.
Blanche leads them downstairs again.
INT. LAYER SIX.
It appears to be a dark, unkempt hotel hall. It looks cold and bleak.
This is where sinners can take a short
break. It gives them a chance to ask
forgiveness and relive the horrors of
the day. Some people truly end up sorry
and leave. If you want to continue sinning,
you go back to your layer.
Finally! Where does Madame Fate live?
INT. DEMON HALL.
This is the residence of demons. See that
ornate building over there? That’s Lucifer’s
room. He runs this place.
Great. Will you wait here while we
go take care of something?
You are so much more pleasant to
hang around now!
I’m an angel; I’m not going to cause
you any discomfort!
They smile at her and step inside Madame Fate’s room.