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EXT. MADAME FATE’S SHOP. AFTERNOON.
Meretrice stands beside Anielle, who has disguised herself with a blonde wig and some high brand clothes.
Remember, lead her down the opposite
direction I’m standing. And don’t let her
catch you because she’ll kill you!
I know exactly what to do. If I didn’t
know how to escape from people, I’d
get arrested like every day!
There’s our cue! Go!
Anielle walks up to Circe.
I totally forgot our sales pitch for
those shoes in the window!
Okay! This high heel is designed for comfort…
Meretrice opens the door to Madame Fate’s shop.
Hello, mother! Yes, that’s right. Your
boyfriend killed the wrong person!
And I’m gonna tell everyone what
Meretrice gets on her broom and flies away. Madame Fate exits the shop and looks around. She sees Circe talking to a blonde woman and pays them no attention. She summons her broom and flies away.
I remember now, thanks!
She rushes to Madame Fate’s shop.
I love the new hair, by the way!
INT. MADAME FATE’S SHOP. AFTERNOON.
Anielle rushes over to the purple curtain, holding her broom. After she draws the curtain, she sees a deep hole.
Joshua, here I come!
She hops on her broom and flies down the tunnel.
EXT. HELL’S GATE. AFTERNOON.
Anielle finds the exit right next to an empty well. The town looks like a western ghost town. A few eccentric Mexicans and a couple of tourists roam the street. Anielle walks up to HOMBRE (a strange, Mexican cowboy).
Excusez mey, donde esta la
Puerta del Dominicio?
He points out in the desert. Anielle can see a faint structure in the distance.
EXT. HELL DESERT. AFTERNOON.
Anielle flies through the desert, but the winds become so strong that it makes it hard to navigate. Anielle is already feeling the heat. Suddenly, she feels a hand on her shoulder.
Hey, when did you learn Spanish?
Don’t do that! You almost gave me
a heart attack!
Sorry! I was on a date with Chad and
I was gonna return these stripper boots,
but Circe told me you went into Madame
Fate’s shop, so I knew what you were
about to do.
I didn’t think you’d come.
Were you starting to believe that
stupid prophecy? Silly girl! I’ve
been busy, but I wouldn’t let you
do this alone!
Thanks! What did Chad say?
I told him I’m gonna battle a demi
goddess and a master villain in Hell.
Then I ran. I can’t imagine the look
on his face!
So, something I’ve been wondering, if
you think sex is so important, why are
you still with Chad?
Because it’s the first time someone respects
me for my mind! So, seriously, you speak
Not a lot. Just some basic expressions
I picked up from our maids.
EXT. HELL ENTRANCE. AFTERNOON.
Anielle and Toci land with messed up hair and watery eyes.
That was an ordeal!
Oh, I just realized I must’ve dropped
What do you need a wig for?
George appears around the side of the cave-like boulder.
Hey! Why don’t you look all
I just flew higher and dove. My
grandfather said that’s how he
got here. Apparently he comes
here once a week to piss on some
dude’s marking he used to know.
Sometimes the people who enter here
get their name and their sin carved on
the wall to serve as an example or whatever.
Where’s the door?
Grandpa said you have to make
payment of some sort.
Why is it blood?
It’s always blood! Do you see
a coin slot?
Anielle takes out her scepter and magically cuts a gash on her arm. She flips her arm over so the blood drops onto the rocks. An entrance magically appears. Anielle seals her wound.
(reads a sign above the door)
“Abandon all hope ye who enter here.”
Why would anyone wanna live here?
Wow, so we’re going to enter Hell. This
is starting to feel like a suicide mission.
What choice do we have?
They take a deep breath and enter.
INT. FAUK CLUB. NIGHT.
The FAUK Club is having a crowded party. Anielle enters arm in arm with Alberto.
I knew you’d come crawling to me
one day! It’s impossible to resist me-
I have golden blood!
A god amongst mortals!
You know it, babe!
Anielle looks away from him and rolls her eyes.
So, you wanna head upstairs and
succumb to destiny?
Uh…buy me a drink first!
Be right back, sweetness!
Anielle looks disgusted. A moment later, she sees Meretrice trying to leave while burping up something.
Are you okay?
I’m fine, just another outburst.
I’m burping up blood.
Anielle sees her blood is orange.
Why is your blood orange?
You’re half god! Madame Fate! That’s why
they wanted you dead! This kid they’re trying
to conceive is heir to their non-existent throne!
Wait, you think Madame Fate is real? And
she’s my mother?
It makes sense! Why else would Babelsama
kill Deirdre? He thought it was you! They
must see you as a threat!
Anielle brings out the vial she took from Toci.
Do us all a favor and use this to
Why do you want me to seduce my
So he’ll catch your disease!
And my apparent mother won’t wanna
have sex with him! Clever! But he won’t
know he has it for three weeks or so.
Then in three weeks I’m going to Hell!
Anielle leaves. Alberto comes back with a drink.
Where’d she go?
I’ll take that!
She puts the potion in the drink and leaves Alberto standing alone, looking confused.
INT. ANIELLE AND TOCI’S ROOM. EVENING.
It is dark and pouring rain. Anielle looks out the window to the FAUK Club.
It looks like a bat out of hell. Babelsama
could probably turn into a bat! I can’t
believe Madame Fate is real!
A black cat comes limping over to her window on the brick sill.
No, no, no! You go away!
Anielle shuts the window. The cat limps over, sits, and meows pathetically. Anielle takes pity on the animal and lets him in. She uses her wand to dry it.
Aw, you broke your paw! I can fix
that. I’m going to be an emergency
healer, you know.
She grabs a vial of potion off her shelf.
I usually use this on my friend, George,
after he gets hurt playing broom football.
He’s out getting Spanish lessons right now.
Toci insisted he do that! Toci is my friend too.
She is doing an erotic dance for Chad to seduce
him, but it’ll never work! At least, I think we’re
all still friends. I don’t see them often anymore.
I just hope it’s a coincidence that Madame Fate’s
prediction for me seems to be happening. I wish
my boyfriend, Joshua, were here. He was
kidnapped by Babelsama, Madame Fate’s new
boyfriend. They’re trying to take over the world,
but you know what, I’m not gonna let that happen!
I’m going to Hell to rescue Joshua even if I
gotta go alone!
The cat mews happily.
The potion kicked in, I see. I gotta take
a potion now too, for my allergies.
Better make a whole cauldron of it if
you’re gonna stay. I believed in free
will, but now it feels like fate is against me.
Fate is technically against me.
The cat jumps off the bed and makes a bed out of her black and red pom-poms. Anielle laughs.
Hey, our mascot is the Black Cats.
Maybe you can be on our squad as
the mascot. I’m gonna name you Scotty!
Anielle sees a picture of Joshua and sighs sadly.
EXT. FAUK CLUB. AFTERNOON.
A stage has been built outside of the FAUK Club. A lot of the members are helping to set it up. Anielle is walking with Meretrice.
Toci shouldn’t complain. If she didn’t
want the cat to eat any of her plants,
she should’ve put a protective spell
around them. Especially the cat nip.
Thank you! I know she thinks taking
Chad swimming will arouse him, but
he’s gonna look the other way!
Alberto approaches them.
Did I hear the word “aroused?”
Madame Fate said you’d sleep with
someone famous. You know who’s
gonna be famous? Babelsama!
Go away, you unbeliever! We believe!
We believe! We believe! We believe!
That is it! I’m ending this tonight!
It’s been close enough to three weeks!
So, does that mean you have an idea
how to get into Madame Fate’s shop?
Yeah. I just got an idea!
INT. GEOGRAPHY CLASS. MORNING.
Anielle enters the fairly large class with the walls being a giant map. Anielle sees Alberto and a bunch of others staring excitedly out the window. Anielle goes to check it out.
What are we looking at?
RED HAIRED GIRL:
Look! They’re giving us a building!
Anielle looks out the window. INTERCUT- a group of wizards constructing a FAUK club building. So far, it looks like a small club house. INTERCUT BACK.
Well, at least the DOG House won’t
be the most made fun of building
on campus anymore!
You were never a believer in the
leader, were you?
I think everyone has free will and
you are in the middle of a self-
PROFESSOR ERMETES peers out the window.
Ah, some new geography to our
campus. How about now we focus
on the lecture I’m going to give?
Everyone starts to return to their seats, giving Anielle dirty looks.
You know, this boyfriend of yours is
still missing. You must be…needy…
I’d never do it with a stupid FAUK’er!
Well, then you’ll be alone forever.
Anielle and Alberto sit down.
You can discuss the leader later
at the meeting tonight. I’m bringing
my macaroon recipe!
Anielle sits down and sighs.
INT. DORM LOUNGE. NIGHT.
Anielle talks to PETER (rigid, jet black hair, square glasses, somber expression) on her laptop.
I’m so glad I’ve gotten some free time!
If my Antarctica conference wasn’t
cancelled at the last minute, I’d still
be stuck at the office! Sarah is angry
I keep having to postpone the wedding.
How did your dad manage three marriages.
No idea. Why don’t you ask him? Don’t
you work for him?
I never see him since I’m always in
my office. If I do see him, he’s too
busy to talk.
Yeah, everyone is too busy to talk
to me. I’m glad we stayed in touch!
Well, you probably heard that my
boyfriend was kidnapped.
Does the kidnapper know that your
dad cut you off?
They’re not asking for a ransom. I have
no idea why he was kidnapped. Every
time I get close to a lead, something
gets in the way.
Wow, that sounds tough.
And on top of that, there’s this FAUK club-
A what club?
Future Apprentices of University Kingdom.
Basically, they believe the new President
of Temca Academy will be a glorious new
leader that will spread his ideas all over
Why would they believe that?
They believe it cuz a psychic told them
it would happen.
Thank you! You’re the only one that
seems to agree with me on that. The
club has been getting stronger and stronger.
They know I’m not a believer, so they treat
me like an outcast. I’m just glad it’s spring
break. With an empty dorm, I don’t have
to be stuck in my room or worry about
people giving me dirty looks in the halls.
Aren’t your friends there?
No. Toci bought a cruise ticket to try
and seduce her boyfriend, Chad. George
is in Mexico supposedly looking for where
Babelsama ran off to, but I think he’s there
visiting his grandfather and to try to “be
If he’s trying to find a criminal, he should
try to find a tunnel. Most criminals use
them to try and elude authorities. Let
me check my maps. Yes, there’s an
underground tunnel that goes from the
magical shops in DC to Puerta del Domincio.
It’s a small, creepy tourist town in
Mexico. It literally translates to
Anielle gasps in understanding.
But the underground tunnels aren’t
just for criminals. Sure, they disguise
themselves as animals and go undetected,
but they’re going to perfect underground
security soon. The tunnel is also used for-
Thanks Peter! You’ve been helpful.
Okay, well glad I could help. Well, I
better go. Good luck now!
I thought you didn’t believe in luck!
Peter shrugs and signs off.
INT. JOSHUA AND GEORGE’S ROOM. AFTERNOON.
Toci tends to George’s massive sunburn. Anielles sits on Joshua’s empty bed.
Yeah, my grandfather said he used
the DDD Tunnel to get to America.
I tried to travel there, but it hurt to
fly with these sunburns.
So, you sunbathed nude cuz you
thought you’d get tan enough to
look more Mexican?
It’s not like I spent a thousand pieces
on a cruise to seduce a virgin! Which
didn’t even work! Close as you got was
him behind you in a conga line!
Thanks for asking about my spring break,
by the way! I did learn something important
actually. I think I know where Babelsama
is hiding out. He lives in Hell. The tunnel
must go to Madame Fate’s shop. If we take
that tunnel, we can go to Puerta del Dominicio
and rescue Joshua, who is literally in Hell!
So, you want to break into Madame Fate’s
shop, go to Hell, and battle Babelsama
plus whatever demon he has working for him?
I’m not gonna go without a plan. Babelsama
can be outsmarted. The hardest part will be
breaking into Madame Fate’s shop.
Man, this would be a kick ass action
movie if weren’t full of stupid people!
Circe stumbles in, drunk, and falls face first into the room.
Sorry! I thought this was this hot guy
I met at the FAUK party! Oops, they
don’t like it when I say that!
Do I know you?
Okay. Bye byeeeee!
She walks away. A crash is heard from a distance.
Look, before you go to Hell, find a way
for Babelsama to stop having sex. He must
be seducing someone at that party. It’s not
fair! That evil vato gets to score and I don’t!
That’s it! I’m gonna do it!
Toci brings a vial out of her pocket.
I’m putting this in his drink and
I’m having my way with him!
Anielle takes the vial away.
Will you stop thinking about sex
for one minute! Just think about
getting into that party.
Are you lock-o? No one there
Actually, one person does…
INT. CONFERENCE HALL. AFTERNOON.
Anielle, George, and Toci are dressed in business wear and scan the hall. A group of extremely attractive men walk by, which gets the girls’ attention.
Wow, if something happens to Joshua,
I know where I’m finding my next man!
You shouldn’t look at other guys.
Why not? It’s not like a have a ring
on my finger!
Toci chokes on her drink.
Another group of hot guys walk by.
Man, it must be some kind of hot
No way! I would’ve been invited
A group of guys stop for pictures.
It’s not fair! I’m attractive, so why
won’t they invite me to their convention?
You wanna come?
George leaves with them. Meretrice approaches them looking messy and physically exhausted.
Whew! So many boys, so little time!
Toci grumbles jealously.
I’ll bet with that hot guy convention!
You mean the Gayzard convention?
You know, gay wizards conference?
Toci and Anielle burst out laughing. Anielle immediately stops laughing when she sees Babelsama in the crowd. Babelsama sees her too and runs away in a panic. Anielle follows him.
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM. AFTERNOON.
Anielle runs into the room, but Babelsama is nowhere in sight. The room is expansive and pretty packed.
Did you lose him?
No, I found him and captured him.
I think he’s gonna make a speech soon.
George appears looking ticked off. Toci and Anielle snicker.
You did that on purpose!
We could not have planned something
Babelsama comes on stage, and the crowd becomes quiet and pays attention.
Welcome to the FLA. I was invited here
by the Future Apprentices of University
No, don’t call it that! Anyways, I wanted
to share with you my ideas for how to run
a university or even run a country more
efficiently. Now, I think it’s only fair the
hardest working people obtain the greatest
reward, and people who do nothing should
be punished. We cannot remain passive. One
should always strive for more and more. Loyalty
is important. The more people work for the leader,
the better their lives should be. If he’s a good leader,
and someone does not follow him, they should be
The crowd agrees with him. Babelsama looks directly at George, Toci, and Anielle, who glare at him. He turns back to the crowd.
If elected university president, I would make
several important changes. We’d start with the
budget. I’d cut…
A paper airplane lands by him. He reads it and frowns profusely.
I’m sorry but my girlfriend just
miscarried. I’ll finish this speech
He tries to leave but Anielle binds him. The crowd looks at her like she is insane.
This man is a murder suspect!
It was self defense! Please, let me go
to my girlfriend!
The crowd gets angry and helps him up. As he leaves, a peace officer comes and arrests Anielle.
INT. WITCHES PRISON. EVENING.
Anielle sits in a corner alone. A few other women are in the small, dingy room with her but pay her no attention. A pink force field acts as a door. Some guards approach and Anielle looks hopeful. They throw someone in and leave. Anielle hangs her head in disappointment.
Never thought I’d share a cell with you!
Meretrice? Why are you here?
Why do you think? It happens every
few months or so. I stay a few days
and go back out. Never been to Arizona’s
Witches Prison though. Theirs is nicer.
This is nice?
Not as nice as the one in England though.
Theirs is the best. Well, that’s what I’m told.
Deirdre was originally from there. She would
go back and visit her cousinoccasionally. She was
so lucky to have family. I always wondered how
someone could abandon a baby.
Family is overrated sometimes. My mom
lives in Canada with her husband. Both of
them are too busy partying to really pay
attention to me or my sister. Leila and I
got disowned by our father because the
men and career choices we picked weren’t
approved by Neiman.
My foster parents never approved of my
career choice either. We’re a lot alike,
except your best friends are still here.
Some best friends! Where were they when
I was being arrested? Why haven’t they
bailed me out? I keep thinking about what
Madame Fate said-your friends will abandon you.
That’s not very nice. Most psychics tell
people good things so they’ll come back
and say nice things again.
She works for Babelsama.
Well then, why would you give any
merit to what she says? Anyways,
if you wanna get bailed out, I got
plenty of cash.
Thanks. But you’ll be coming back to
Uh huh! I usually don’t sleep with men
so attractive and young, so this has been nice!
INT. ANIELLE AND TOCI’S ROOM. NIGHT.
Anielle is on her laptop and pouts. Toci enters and is surprised to see Anielle.
Oh, you’re here! So, they let you out
Meretrice bailed me out. Thanks for
all of your help!
We were following Babelsama! He flew
Mexico? But, he’s been all his time here.
If he has a girlfriend he knocked up, she
should be here. One of these days we gotta
disguise ourselves and just follow him all day.
George passes by.
George, come here!
I have an idea of why Chad doesn’t
want a piece of this.
Oh, here we go…
Maybe he’s gay!
I don’t think he’s gay. Guys in denial
still act like gay guys.
But I wanna make sure. So, I want you
to go with us on our date tomorrow
and at the end of the night, ask if you
wanna do a threesome.
Absolutely not! I love you, Toci, but
in a platonic way. I never risk friendships
for a booty call…anymore.
We’re not really gonna do it! I just
wanna see if he likes the idea. If he’s
gay, he’d love to experiment with you.
but if he does go for it, I’ll take his
virginity and we’ll both leave!
Your schemes are getting more and more
senseless by the minute!
Please George! I don’t ask for a lot of
Fine! But you’ll have to buy me a
lot of drinks first!
What’s wrong, Anielle? Normally
you get a big kick out of this.
I have more important things on my
mind. Believe it or not, I don’t view
your sex life as top priority.
You miss Joshua, don’t you?
Of course I miss Joshua! I miss the way he
made me feel about myself. He made me
feel truly wanted. And I miss his sweet little
comments and his passionate kisses. Sure, he’d
drive me crazy sometimes, but I even miss that.
I miss the petty arguments we’d get into. I
remember a lot of times we’d lie in bed
together and he’d let out a huge fart, so I’d
kick him out of bed. I miss his smelly farts!
You miss his farts?!? Wow, you must
really love him!
I do. But I’m not just thinking about that.
It drives me crazy that Babelsama is so
close and we have no idea what he gets up
to! What did Joshua’s clue mean? I keep
wondering why they kidnapped him instead
of murdering him. I’m grateful he’s alive, don’t
get me wrong, but why would they keep him
around? Sometimes I fear that Madame Fate
will turn out to be right about me becoming
a crazy cat lady!
Oh, if you want to get a cat, there’s a
potion recipe for allergies on page
seventy two of my household cure book.
And there’s Toci with the big picture!
Look on the bright side-classes resume
tomorrow! Aren’t you excited about
what you may learn?
Anielle rolls her eyes and closes her laptop. She leaves the room with her toothbrush and a cup of tooth polish potion.
She really needs to get laid!
INT. ANIELLE AND TOCI’S ROOM. NIGHT.
Toci is on what looks like an ordinary laptop but all of the icons float above the counsel. She is chatting with CHAD (dorky looking, blonde hair, blue eyes, dark glasses, and blue eyes). Anielle enters.
Let’s pretend I knock you onto
Just to fantasize together.
I don’t get it. Are we writing a
Kind of. So, I knock you onto the
And I call the Peace Officers for
Oh, never mind! I’ll see you tomorrow!
Chad gets off the computer. Toci closes the laptop.
So, if you got him to cyber sex,
you think it’d lead to regular sex?
I realize he was probably very sheltered
to even discussing sex, so I’m thinking if
I can corrupt his mind, I can corrupt his body!
Good idea! Nothing can go wrong with this plan!
So, how was Madame Fate?
Before Anielle answers, Blanche walks in and sits down, staring at them like they are a television program.
Can we help you?
I was going to visit George, but he
brought a date home. I told her not
to burn her tongue on the coffee, and
George says, “We’re going to have sex!”
So, I offered to perform an STD spell to
make sure everyone is clean, you know,
down there. It’s important to be safe!
He kicked me out, so now I’m here.
Um, we’re kind of in the middle of something…
That’s okay. I can help you.
Actually, you can help. We were going to
make a headache potion, but we need a
Tallant herb. I don’t know where to find
There’s one by the dorm! I’ll go get it!
She walks out in an almost dreamy skip. Toci uses her scepter to shut and lock the door.
Once again, my knowledge of plants
saves the day!
Okay, so Madame Fate said some vague ideas
about me struggling and growing to be an old
maid with a bunch of cats. Whatever. But then she
said I would defy the new chosen leader, and that
he would come into power when he got some chosen
partner pregnant. It makes sense! Babelsama tried to
take over the world starting at Temca before, broke out
of prison, and before he made new plans, he wanted to
make sure he wouldn’t fail again, so he asked Madame
Fate how to succeed. So, now he’s trying to get some
girl pregnant because he believes in the prophecy,
and he’s using Madame Fate to set the stage here.
Everyone believes there is a new leader coming, and
when Babelsama gets that girl pregnant, they’ll be
waiting for him!
One thing that doesn’t make sense is
why would he kidnap Joshua? Why
kill a hooker?
I don’t know, but sooner or later I’m sure
Babelsama will visit Madame Fate again, so
I’ll keep an eye out for that. And I’ve gotta
make sure, if we see Babelsama trying to score,
to stop them!
And you still think Meretrice in danger?
Before Anielle can answer, there is a knock on the door.
I’ve got your plant!
Anielle and Toci turn off the lights and pretend to be sleeping.
BEGIN ANIELLE’S INVESTIGATION MONTAGE
INT. DRAGONHEART SHOES. AFTERNOON.
Anielle searches all over the store for a particular shoe, finally finds it, and hands it to a customer. The customer tries it on, does not like it, and asks for another pair. As Anielle reaches for some boxes, she sees BABELSAMA (tall, skinny, bald, brown robes) walk by the shop, heading away from Madame Fate’s shop. The shock makes her drop a big pile and boxes on top of her.
INT. ICE CREAM PARLOR. AFTERNOON.
George tries to speak Spanish to a Hispanic girl, who gets offended and pushes him down. Anielle catches him, but when she sees Babelsama pass by, she forgets she has George and goes after him, causing George to fall.
INT. CAMPUS BOOKSTORE. MORNING.
Toci tries to show Chad a sex position book, but he is too busy reading a business textbook. Anielle is keeping guard as Meretrice settles a deal with some boys. Toci looks at Meretrice jealously. Anielle sees Babelsama approach the attractive bookstore clerk, so Anielle points her scepter at a nearby bookshelf. A giant book hits him on the head and knocks him out.
EXT. DOG HOUSE. NIGHT.
A group of girls put up signs for the FAUK club. Babelsama goes to approach them. From her window, Anielle points her scepter at Babelsama, who gets bound with ropes. The girls look frightened and run away. Anielle tries to get him to hold still but he hops away.
EXT. TEMCA PATH. EVENING.
Anielle sits on a bench and longingly gazes at a picture of Joshua. Someone slides a picture over it. It is Alberto, who gives her a picture of himself. As he tries to flirt with her, Anielle sees Babelsama talking to a couple of girls. She points her scepter at Alberto, which sends Alberto flying backwards straight into Babelsama. Babelsama gets knocked down. Anielle leaves.
INT. DORM LOUNGE. NIGHT.
Anielle sits in the dorm lounge (which has a table, chairs, a couple of couches, and a television projector). She is wearing her cheerleader uniform and looks exhausted. George is wearing his football uniform and is doing some “replays” of the game. Toci sits with Chad, who is wearing an accountant’s outfit and is counting Meretrice’s money. Meretrice watches with interest. The window is snowy.
Nine hundred and ninety nine, one
thousand, one thousand one, one
thousand two…Where did you say
you worked again?
I sell…books. What?
Someone on the Bighorn’s side passes it,
but I intercept it like this…
I miss big horns!
What’s your major, again?
The forward tries to tackle me, but I said
no way, essay!
Toci gets up angrily.
Quit trying to act Mexican! You are
just trying to embrace the stereotype,
and you’re failing! Shut up! We saw the
game, by the way, and that’s not how it
happened! So just shut up!
Okay, you’re in a bad mood. I guess
I’m going to turn in early. Bye everyone!
Toci, you need to find a way to release
your sexual tension. Have you tried…?
Of course! It’s not the same! I miss
foreplay and just holding each other.
Doing it myself isn’t a challenge, so it’s
a lot less fun. I think I need to break up
But he loves you. Surely there must be
I’ve tried everything I could think of to
seduce him, and it hasn’t worked. I need
sex! You just wouldn’t understand it cuz
you’re more of a romantic. You get off on
ideas. Like, we have gone the same length
of time since we last had sex, and yet you’re
okay. Meretrice, could you live without sex?
Considering I kind of depend on it to
But say you were in a relationship with
a guy who wouldn’t have sex until he’s
I’d marry him.
I never thought of that.
You could sleep with Babelsama. Both
of you are desperate for it!
I’m sorry. I’m kind of sleep deprived.
I wish there was a way to keep him
from being appealing to women. You’d
think his looks alone would do it.
Not if he has money or power. Girls will
sleep with the world’s ugliest dude if he’s
got that going on.
A paper airplane glides through the window and lands in front of Anielle.
That’s Joshua’s handwriting! Oh, this
must be a clue to where he is!
She tears open the note and frowns.
Go to Hell.
So, this dude is kidnapped, gets one
chance for contacting the outside world,
and uses this rare opportunity to dump you?
No way would he dump her! He’s going to p-
He’s giving her a clue. What could he mean
Anielle stares fixedly out the window.
What? You’ve never been there,
how do u know it’s hell?
INTERCUT-outside the dorm, on a tree, is a poster for the FAUK club trip to the Future Leaders of America Conference in Phoenix. CUT BACK.
Ooh, sounds like it’s the perfect place
for me to work during Christmas break!
No sex and I have to carry my papers
everywhere I go in Phoenix. Yeah,
merry f’ing Christmas to me!
INT. ANIELLE AND TOCI’S ROOM. NIGHT.
Anielle enters to see Toci furiously pruning her plants.
Let me guess, your sedcution
No one told me you had to cook
You poisoned him!
Not on purpose! I want to seduce
him! Sex is important to me. I’m
good at it, and I consider it one of
my talents. Sex is good for the soul!
It heals you physically and spiritually!
Why are you laughing so hard?
A prostitute just gave me the same
speech, except she added the
benefit of earning money with it.
Hey! Don’t compare me to a hooker!
Hookers will have sex with anyone;
I do have some standards. I can’t
help it if there’s a lot of hot guys on campus!
Hey, that’s an idea! We can get Meretrice
to stay here by doing business on campus!
You’re pimping now?
She’s in danger! She saw Babelsama pick
up Deirdre, and he’ll end up kidnapping
her too! Plus, I bet a lot of men on campus
miss female companionship since you
Oh, ha ha. Did you figure out why
Babelsama would wanna kill her?
Both of them are orphans. We just
gotta figure out who their parents are
to see why Babelsama would want her
dead. Meretrice said she always felt
like she had evil eyes on her.
Anielle starts to get ready for bed. As she pulls out her scepter, Madame Fate’s card falls out. Toci picks it up.
Look, the evil eye is watching you!
Yeah, the eyes of Fate were watching
her! But seriously, I do wanna pay
her a visit.
You know, she looks evil, but that
doesn’t mean she’s connected to
Everyone keeps talking about working
for a great new leader that Madame Fate
predicts. Maybe she’s talking about Babelsama.
That’s ridiculous! Why would Babelsama-?
I’m going to visit her between classes.
If I’m gonna prove my point, I gotta
find out what, if anything, she knows.
Ask her if she knows how I can steal
INT. ANATOMY CLASS. MORNING.
PROFESSOR KOKONE concludes the class.
For homework, I want a four page
essay on the digestive system. Don’t
groan-people have written whole books
on the subject! Class dis…yes?
RED HAIR GIRL:
I’d like to make an announcement!
The Club for the Future Apprentices
of University Kingdom will be held
at the library at four p.m.
A club for what now?
Haven’t you been to Madame Fate?
A glorious kingdom will be built
based on the wisdom of a leader
in the university. We want to prepare
as much as we can for his coming.
So, there ya go-Future Apprentinces
of the University Kingdom.
The FAUK club?
RED HAIR GIRL:
It’s not the FAUK club! It’s-!
Do you wanna go to FAUK with me?
Go FAUK yourself!
EXT. MADAME FATE’S SHOP. AFTERNOON.
Anielle is positively dreading going into this shop, mostly because she suspects it will be corny. She enters.
INT. MADAME FATE’S SHOP. AFTERNOON.
Anielle stands near the door inspecting her surroundings. BG-the walls are a velvety red, and the black curtains make it dark inside. Various posters of spells line the wall. In the center is a small, round table with a crystal ball on it. There is a purple curtain with a crescent moon pattern on it that leads to a back room. MADAME FATE (short, pudgy, wispy brown hair, crooked nose, black robes, and those scary eyes) emerges from the back.
I sense you are skeptical about my
Sense it? I’m not trying to conceal it.
Come, let me prove it to you.
Anielle shrugs and sits. Madame Fate reaches for her hand, and Anielle feels a chill go down her spine.
Ah, you feel the clairvoyance!
Madame Fate searches her palm.
I see wealth in your past but not
Madame Fate pauses for a reaction, but Anielle says nothing.
Your present shows obstacles. I see
a lot of stress in your life.
Of course I’m stressed, I’m in college!
You don’t need to be psychic to predict
Your future holds greater obstacles. I
see a terrible heartache.
Madame Fate pauses. Anielle says nothing.
I see your friends deserting you.
She pauses again. Anielle does not react.
I see you growing old and alone with a
bunch of cats.
I suppose they will invent a cure for
They have a potion you can take for
that. Worse, I see you defying the
New leader? I’m intrigued. Tell me more.
He will start off at Temca, and his ideas
will be so powerful they will spread all
over the world.
Why isn’t he famous already?
He has to get his chosen partner
pregnant first, and the creation of
this child will give birth to his greatness.
Interesting. Anything else?
First visit is twenty five pieces.
Anielle hands her the money.
Do be careful out there!
Yeah, I wouldn’t wanna disappoint
my future cats!