Sabotage, Chapter 14

“Did you find anything?” Garith inquired. He sat on a cot in a room full of them. A few people were scattered around the room, but Zartex, Garith, and Carmen had this corner to themselves. Carmen perused through a box of donated clothes while Zartex played Cat’s Cradle on some colorful string.

Carmen replied, “When I get back on my feet, I’m going to donate more clothes to homeless shelters. Haven’t these people suffered enough?” She held up a particularly hideous tee shirt and made a sour face.

Zartex did a somewhat tricky move and reacted with, “Oooh!” Garith chuckled and flipped through a newspaper.

From across the room, Bette entered and shook hands with the volunteer in charge of the homeless shelter. She saw Carmen and greeted happily, “Oh, hi Joan!” Carmen didn’t respond, so she repeated, “Hi Joan! Joan? Joan!”

Garith looked up and saw Bette, so he nudged Carmen. “Psst! Joan!”

“Huh?” Carmen glanced up, and when she saw Bette, she remembered, “Oh right, that’s me!”

Bette strolled over to them and conversed, “What a coincidence! What brought you to Winnemucca?”

Zartex, while continuing his Cat’s Cradle game, told her, “Our legs did.”

Even though Zartex was being quite literal, Bette took it as a joke. She laughed, “Well, I was just on my way to a church event in Oregon, but along the way, it was starting to get late, so I decided to stay in a hotel. They gave me some free slot play, and I won! But, I felt guilty for gambling, so I figured if I donated the winnings to charity, I absolved my sin. Anyway, where are you all heading?”

“California,” Carmen said truthfully. She trusted Bette, so she felt safe in divulging a little, but in the dire situation Carmen got caught up, she couldn’t give anyone any specific details. She really hoped Bette didn’t ask where in California or worse, why.

“California?” Bette recalled. “Oh, there was a man looking for a group of travelers heading to California.”

Carmen and Garith dropped the things in their hands, and Zartex got surprised enough that he lost track of what he was doing and got tangled up in the Cat’s Cradle string. Carmen tried to remain casual. “Lots of people travel to California. That’s kind of vague details to give to people about who you’re looking for! What kind of man do you mean?”

“I’m not sure,” Bette thought back. “He was dark skinned, had a think accent, and a nice suit. He didn’t have a badge though, and I asked repeatedly for him to identify himself. He wouldn’t tell me who he was, he just said he was looking for escapees that had classified information.” Zartex, Garith, and Carmen all had pounding hearts. Carmen and Garith gave each other a confused gesture, but their eyes shared signs of worry. They all were afraid of what Bette may have told Elden about their whereabouts. Bette went on, “I just couldn’t trust someone who wouldn’t say who they were! He wouldn’t even say where these people escaped from! I didn’t trust him, so I decided not to tell him anything. Well, nothing truthful anyways. He could be a kidnapper for all I know, so I wouldn’t help him! I fed him a red herring and said that I saw them going to a club in my hotel. He was probably a fed, but he ticked me off! Screw him!”

Garith, Carmen, and Zartex all breathed a sigh of relief. Garith remarked, “Wow, you never struck me as someone who rebelled against authority!”

Bette grinned. “Ever since I took that bus to the BYU game, I can’t get the hippie era mentality of my head. To be honest, I kind of thought he might be talking about you three, but you guys are too nice to get captured by ‘the man!’ If it’s you, I would leave town right now while he’s distracted!” Bette winked at them.

“These travelers owe you one!” Carmen thanked her.

“Hey man, cool!” She gave them a peace sign and left.

“She’s right,” Garith said to Carmen. “We should head out before Elden realizes she tricked him.”

Carmen thought about it, and logically, it made a lot of sense. Something inside of her urged her to stay, but she wasn’t sure what reason it may have had. She thought about Bette, and it clicked for her. “No. If we leave, Elden will know Bette lied and will go after her. I think we need to go the club.”

“Uh, guys, a little help!” Zartex’s hands were bound together by his snarled string.

As Garith untangled him, he questioned Carmen, “How are we going to stop him from murdering us?”

Zartex suggested, “It’s a public place, right? He’ll get caught trying to kill you or kidnap someone. Just let him get caught up in his own game!” Garith freed Zartex, but there was still a knot in the string. “Aw!”

“Ah!” Carmen found a pastel pink, off-the-shoulder shirt in the box. “So, when was the last time you went clubbing?”

The three of them waited in line on a casino floor as the music from the club pounded away. Garith turned to Zartex and directed, “You’re not coming.”

“What?” Zartex objected. “Why not?”

“The music,” Garith explained. “We need to catch this guy, and we can’t afford an emotional overload right now!”

Zartex reasoned, “I can behave! I will! I will do it because I’m still at work and I’m supposed to be watching Carmen. I can do this!”

Carmen kidded, “Are you trying to convince us or yourself.”

“Both,” Zartex confessed. “I’ve never been to a club! Please!”

Carmen and Garith silently consulted each other, and Carmen relented, “Okay, but if you feel like you’re on the verge of an emotional overload, go outside!”

“Deal!” Zartex agreed.

As they got closer to the entrance, they saw a bouncer checking people’s ID’s. When it was their turn, they patted their clothes as if they were searching for their wallets, but the bouncer dismissed them, “Please!” He opened the rope and waved them inside.

The song “Worth It” by Fifth Harmony played as they came onto the dance floor, which was packed. The room itself had an old-fashioned disco floor, and the walls had a rustic, wooden appearance. It had a bar on the opposite side of the floor and a DJ jamming in front of the dancers. Carmen complained, “He didn’t ID us! Do I look old?”

“Well, you haven’t gotten a lot of sleep and your make up has worn off…” When Garith saw her glare at him, he changed his tune, “So, to answer your question, no! Definitely not!”

More people began to arrive, and the incoming crowd pushed them to the actual dance floor. Zartex stood at the edge, refusing to dance. Garith and Carmen got swept into the center. Not wanting to stand out, Carmen began to dance. Clearly, it had been a while since Garith did anything like this and moved stiffly. “Do you know how to dance?”

“What?” Garith put his hand to the side of his ear.

Carmen shouted into his ear, “Do you know how to dance?”

Garith yelled towards her, “Not really!”

“Oh, Cielo, you need to move your hips!” She put her hands on his hips and shook them. He seemed to enjoy that as he moved his hips more, and Carmen felt of jolt of pleasure from this moment too. Suddenly, she felt awkward and snapped her hands out of the way. What was that? she wondered. She shrugged and kept dancing.

Meanwhile, Zartex found it harder and harder to contain himself. He saw himself moving his leg a little, and he panicked a little. When he realized that no consequences came, he pushed the boundaries further by moving his leg more. Still, nothing happened. He now stared to bend his leg to an almost lunge and nothing happened. He felt giddy at this discovery and kept doing it. As Garith and Carmen moved on the dance floor, he continued this move while sliding to another end of the dance floor. People gave him a strange look, but he was having too much fun to notice.

At the end of the song, the DJ announced, “Alright, alright! It’s that time again-women’s hour!” The women in the club cheered. “You know what that means-the ladies want the eighties!” The women in the club cheered again, but so did some of the guys. “Let’s get funky with some old school jams!”

As he played Love Shack by the B-52’s, Zartex spotted Elden. He got close to Carmen, brandishing a knife. “Hey!” Zartex yelled as loud as he could, but no one could here them. Elden was about to stab her. No one could see him doing this, and Zartex couldn’t push through the herd of people to get to them. In order to save her life, he had to act fast. He let this song into his heart, and the world morphed into an eighties’ discotheque. All of the clubbers dressed in vintage, gaudy clothing with neon and other bright colors. Zartex commanded everyone’s attention as he got on top of the DJ’s booth and sang:

Zartex:     If you see a faded sign at the end
               of the road that says “Fifteen miles
to the-”
(Zartex pointed to Carmen & Garith,
who take over singing)

Garith & Carmen:     Love shack!

Carmen:      I’m heading down the Atlanta Hwy,
lookin’ for the love getaway,
headed for the love getaway!
(Carmen sang to Elden, who looked uncomfortable.)

Garith:     I got me a car, it’s as big as a whale,
and we’re headin’ down to the love shack.
I got a Chrysler, it seats about twenty,
so hurry up, bring your jukebox money!
(Garith now sang to Elden.)

(Garith and Carmen put their arms around
Elden, who looked confused and mad.)
The Love Shack is a little old place where we
can get together!
Love Shack, baby! A Love Shack baby!
Love Shack, baby, Love Shack!
Come baby, that’s where it’s at!
Ooh, love, baby, that’s where it’s at!

(Elden escaped, but Garith stood in front of him
to stop him.)
Garith:     Sign says “Stay away fools!”
‘Cause love rules at the Love Shack.

(Carmen turned Elden around and set him
back on the dance floor.)
Carmen:     Well, it’s set way back, in the middle
of a field.
Just a funky old shack, and I gotta get back.
Glitter on the mattress!
Glitter on the highway!
Glitter on the front porch!
Glitter on the highway!

(The dancers in the club circled around Elden,
who tried to find a way out and couldn’t.)
Garith & Carmen:     The Love Shack is a little old place
where we can get together!
Love Shack, baby! Love Shack, baby!
Love Shack, that’s where it’s at!
Love Shack, that’s where it’s at.

(As Elden tried to escape, Garith continously brought
him back to the dance floor.)
Garith:     Huggin’ and a-kissin’,
Dancin’ and a-lovin’,
wearing next to nothin’
’cause it’s hot as an oven!
The whole shack shimmies when everybody’s
movin’ around and around
and around and around!

(Carmen joined Garith as Elden began to
rhythmically fist fight with them. Carmen
and Garith rhythmically dodge him.)
Carmen:     Everybody’s movin’, everybody’s
groovin’, baby!
Garith:     Folks linin’ up just to get down!
Carmen:     Everybody’s movin’, everybody’s
groovin’, baby!
Garith:     Funky little shack!
Funky little shack!

(Zartex magically drives a giant, baby blue
convertible into the dance floor. Carmen
grabbed some rope from the back seat
and tied Elden up. Garith forced Elden
into the car.)
Zartex:     Hop in my Chrysler, it’s as big as
a whale,
and it’s about to set sail!
I got me a car, it seats about twenty,
so, come on and bring your jukebox money!

(The people on the dance floor wave goodbye as
Zartex drove them through the desert. Garith
and Carmen dance as they sit with Elden.)
Garith & Carmen:     The Love Shack is a little
old place where we can get together!
Love shack, baby! A-Love Shack baby!
Love Shack, baby, Love Shack!
Love Shack, baby, Love Shack!
Love Shack, baby, that’s where it’s at!

(They brought Elden to a rustic shanty in the middle
of the desert mountain top. They set him inside
and party around him.)
Carmen:     Bang, bang, on the door baby!
Garith:     Knock a little louder, sugar!
Carmen: Bang, bang, on the door baby!
Garith:     I can’t hear you!
Carmen:      Bang, bang, on the door!
Garith:     Bang, bang, on the door, baby!
Carmen:      Bang, bang!
Garith:     You’re what?
Carmen:     Tin roof, rusted!

(Elden struggled to get out as the three said
goodbye to him. They left the shack and
drove away, heading for the highway.)
Garith & Carmen:     Love Shack, baby, Love Shack!
Love Shack, baby, Love Shack!
Love, baby, yeah, that’s where it’s at!
Love Shack, baby, Love Shack!
Love, yeah, baby, that’s where it’s at!
Love, baby, Love Shack!

Zartex:     Huggin’ and a-kissin’,
Dancin’ and a-lovin’,
at the Love Shack!
(When the music stopped, the car came to a stop.)


After the music faded, they were temporarily suspended in mid-air. They fell onto their bottoms on a cold highway with frigid air and stars beginning to appear in the sky. They gazed at Zartex incredulously, wanting an explanation. Zartex defended himself, “Hey, I had an emotional overload for your protection!” Garith and Carmen looked highly skeptical. “He was literally about to stab you!” They seemed surprised by that answer but decided to accept it. Zartex stood up and said indignantly, “Uh, you’re welcome!”

He gestured an offer to help them up, which they accepted. They got up and began to walk towards a sign that told them how far away Reno was located. Carmen wondered, “Are we sure it’s safe? I mean, where exactly did we send Elden?”

Zartex shrugged. “I think we actually did leave him tied up in some shack in the middle of the desert. He’ll be there for a while.” Garith and Carmen laughed as the three of them walked towards Reno.

 

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Sabotage, Chapter 10

“I can’t believe we’re doing this!” Carmen grumbled. She stood with her arms folded in front of a chain link fence that guarded a dumpster.

Garith, who had had his arms folded for entirely different reasons, assured her, “I told you, restaurants throw away perfectly good food at the end of the day. I worked in a kitchen in college, and it always killed me to waste so much food. But, for health code reasons, they can’t use old food the next day, so they don’t have a choice. It’s not like it’s rotting. We’ll be fine!”

“I understand that,” Carmen responded. “Although I don’t consider anything coming from the dumpster exactly sanitary, I’m more worried about breaking and entering.”

“Oh, well, I guess technically it would be,” Garith professed. Then, he joked, “Hey, we’re already criminals in their eyes, right?”

Zartex popped up from inside the dumpster. “Actually, I’m the only thief here!” He held up a couple of pizza boxes. “These look pretty untouched!”

As Zartex climbed out of the dumpster bin, Carmen still looked a little unsure. Garith pointed out, “The more we save on food, the less we have to walk!”

Zartex hopped over the fence and handed them the pizza boxes. Garith opened up one of the boxes and Carmen saw that it was a thin crust, cheese pizza. It was hard to tell in the dark, but aside from it being cold, it looked okay. She relented and picked up a slice. “Bon apetit!” She took a bite and half expected it to taste like dirt, but it tasted alright. Actually, it tasted really good! “I can’t believe I’m kind of enjoying this! This has to be the strangest part of our journey!”

Garith practically choked on his food. “This? THIS? Out of all the crazy shit that’s happened, this bothers you the most?”

Before Carmen could reply, they heard footsteps come from across the parking lot. They quickly hid what they were doing and cautiously waited for the perpetrator of  the noise. A voice called out, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing!” Carmen answered with a mouth full of food. She cringed and hoped the person didn’t notice.

The figure stepped under the street light, and it turned out to be a teenage boy in a dark blue football jersey. Carmen, Zartex, and Garith felt relieved since he seemed to be non-threatening. The boy gazed at them in confusion. “Come on! The bus is leaving in a couple of minutes!”

“Bus?” Garith said in surprise.

The boy pointed to across the parking lot. In the distance, they saw a group of people wearing similar jerseys waiting by a bus with a giant yellow cat on it. The boy challenged, “You are cougar fans, right?”

“Cougars are okay, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan,” Garith told him. “I prefer women my own age.”

Carmen hit him gently on the back of the head. “Do you think they have shuttles to go pick up women? Don’t worry, kid, we’re coming.” The kid ran back to the bus, and the other two ogled her quizzically. “They’re heading to the college, which is in the same city we were heading to anyways. We won’t have to walk there. Plus, what are the odds of one of their assassins attending a primarily Mormon school?” They shrugged, grabbed their things, and headed to the bus.

They got on the bus and saw that it was mostly full. Zartex sat next to a young man in the middle. Garith sat next to an older man who sent a quick text and passed out with a very audible snore. Behind both of them, Carmen sat next to a tiny old lady, who greeted her with, “Hello, young lady!”

“Hi,” Carmen replied. She felt so out of place there and hoped no one would discover their secret. She dreaded the idea of getting humiliated and kicked off the bus. Or even worse, if they detained them while they really had nowhere to run. She bean to have second thoughts on this idea.

The old lady pleasantly conversed, “You must be new here. I’m Bette.” She pointed to her name tag.

Bette held out her hand to shake it. As Carmen shook her hand, she had to think of an alibi fast. “Bette, Bette…I’m…Joan.”

“Joan! How funny!” Bette giggled. “I guess we’re supposed to be rivals like Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.”

“I don’t need any more enemies,” Carmen stated truthfully.

Bette laughed, “Is that why you’ve done so much walking?”

Carmen got a jolt of surprise upon hearing this. “How did you know?”

Bette sagely told her, “At my age, I’ve seen it all. We’ve all fallen on hard times. Don’t feel too ashamed. In fact, a lot of the original settlers of Utah came here by foot.”

“I didn’t know that.” Carmen was surprised that this conversation had become mildly interesting. She noted how strange it felt to have someone genuinely be nice to her.

“Oh yes!” Bette went on. “It’s not like it’s easy to get transportation when you’re escaping persecution!”

“Tell me about it.” Carmen hid her grin.

Later on that night, most of the bus was asleep as the driver navigated through the mountain top. The kid sitting next to Zartex gazed at the stars above the treetops. He asked Zartex, “Aren’t they beautiful?”

Zartex looked out the window and replied listlessly, “Reminds me too much of work. The days are getting closer and closer where I gotta go back. I like where I’m at now. My office is so boring!”

“Wow, do you work for NASA?” the boy asked full of wonder.

Zartex, who hadn’t thought of an alias before, clumsily agreed, “Okay, yeah, sure.”

“That’s awesome!” the boy complimented. “I’m studying astronomy myself. I like NASA, but I really wanna prove the existence of aliens.”

That last line got Carmen and Garith’s attention. Zartex, however, did not appear alarmed by it at all. “So, you know a lot about aliens, huh?”

“Oh yes!” the boy gushed. “I know everything there is to know about them! Ask me anything!”

“Okay!” Zartex obviously felt tickled pink about this situation. “Would you recognize if an alien was in your presence?”

“Of course!” the boy replied enthusiastically. “No alien could get past me!”

Carmen and Garith tried to hide their laughter. Zartex could hardly keep a straight face as he told him, “Nah, I think aliens are more clever then you think. Why, one could be right in front of you and you’d never know it!”

The boy argued, “No way! I see where you’re heading with this, and I already know there’s one around us now.” Carmen, Garith, and Zartex sobered up a little after that assertion. “Someone’s been watching us. I noticed a flash on the mountain earlier. This whole bus trip has eyes on us.” Garith and Carmen gave each other a a look that said without words that he may have sensed Mirage watching them. “Something is about to happen. That’s why I’m keeping myself awake.”

Garith and Carmen leaned in the aisle to get close enough to talk. Carmen whispered, “We need to get off this bus!”

Garith said quietly, “We could tell the driver, but I seriously doubt that he would stop on the top of a mountain. Besides, what could they do to us on a bus full of witnesses?”

As if on cue, a loud boom sounded ahead, and the shock waves woke up everyone on the bus. The bus driver slammed on the brakes, lurching everyone forward. The bus stopped, but the driver’s face showed sheer fright. He informed the bus, “The road ahead of us is destroyed, and the ground beneath us is very soft. I’m going to reverse slowly, but while I do, for everyone’s safety, don’t move.” As he reversed, the grave tension on the bus was palpable. Suddenly, the ground behind his rear tires crumbled. The driver quickly moved forward, but now they were stuck on an island!

The bus arched upwards, and everyone held onto the back of their seats, dangling like autumn leaves at the onset of winter. The boy that studied aliens shouted, “See, I told you something would happen!”

“Hey kid,” Garith retorted, “now’s not the time!” He turned to Carmen. “What do we do?”

Carmen tried to think fast. People’s belongings began to slide to the back. Someone’s toddler fell, and Zartex stopped it from sliding to the back. A cell phone slid by Carmen, and as she grabbed it. Her eyes flitted from the phone to Zartex wrangling the baby and back to the phone, which made something click for her. The bus began to slowly slide into the hole, making everyone panic. Carmen held herself up with one hand and held the phone with the other. She held it up to her mouth and commanded, “Okay Google…Play Magic Bus by the Who.”

“You’re joking!” Garith shrieked.

As the music caught Zartex’s ear, they felt the world shift. Carmen grinned broadly as her plan unfolded. They shifted to a new world where the bus became a giant hippie vehicle, and everyone wore outfits from the seventies. The bus driver happily drove through a pink and gold cloud. Zartex played a guitar and sang as the passengers partied behind him:

Zartex:     Everyday I get in the queue
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     To get on the bus that takes me to you.
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     I’m so nervous, I just sit and smile.
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     Your house is only another mile.
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!

Zartex:     Thank you driver, for getting me here.
(Zartex began to sing to the driver)
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     You’ll be an inspector, have no fear.
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     I don’t want to cause no fuss,
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     but can I buy your magic bus?
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!
Driver:     Nooooo!

Zartex:     I don’t care how much I have to pay!
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!
Garith & Carmen:     I wanna drive my bus to my baby every day.
Garith & Carmen:     Too much, magic bus!

Zartex:     I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it!
Driver:     You can’t have it!

(Zartex turned to the party and sang to them)
Zartex:     Thruppence and sixpence every day
just to drive to my baby.
Thruppence and sixpence each day
‘Cause I drive my baby every way!

(After Zartex put down the guitar, he picked up the driver
and tossed him in the air, causing him to float away.
Everyone else sang as they did this.)
Party Guests:    Magic bus, magic bus, magic bus!
Magic bus, magic bus, magic bus!
Magic bus, magic bus, magic bus!
Magic bus, magic bus, magic bus!

(Zartex sang as he drove)
Zartex:     I said now I’ve got my magic bus!
Party Guests:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     I said now I’ve got my magic bus!
Party Guests:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     I drive my baby every way!
Party Guests:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     Each time I go a different way!
Party Guests:     Too much, magic bus!

(The driver floats back down and begins to
wrestle with Zartex to get his seat back.)
Zartex:     I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it!
I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it!

(The driver gets his seat back, so Zartex
picked up his guitar and sang to the party again.)
Zartex:     Every day, you’ll see the dust!
Party Guests:     Too much, magic bus!
Zartex:     As I drive my baby in my magic bus!
Party Guests:     Too much, magic bus!

As the song fades, the bus arrived at the end of the mountain, and it stopped to let Carmen, Garith, and Zartex out. The rest of the guests keep partying until the world shifted back to reality. Zartex, Carmen, and Garith found themselves on an actual road just outside the forest. The mountain stood behind them, which let Carmen know that her plan had succeeded. The cougar bus chugged away as the passengers pondered how they got out of that but shrugged as to why they didn’t perish. Everyone did but Bette, who stuck her head out the window and gave them a peace sign. They gave one back, which snapped Bette back to reality. She wondered why she did that, shrugged, and returned to her seat.

Garith was the first to speak, “Thank you for not teleporting out to save yourself!”

“I just had a feeling,” Zartex said warmly.

“A lot of them, thank god!” Carmen commented. “If you didn’t have that ability, we would have died!”

Garith complimented Carmen, “Don’t sell yourself short! If you hadn’t thought of it, we would’ve been goners! Good thinking there!”

Carmen felt taken about aback. With all of the bickering they did, she got caught off guard when he said something nice. No hint of sarcasm, he actually looked grateful for her! Before she could respond, a convertible pulled up next to them, and it was a scruffy man in a nice suit who pointed a gun at them. They put up their hands, but they didn’t seem worried. Perhaps it was because their spirits were still high from the emotional overload, or maybe it was due to the fact they had successfully evaded danger several times now, but they actually felt calm faced with this new adversary. Carmen addressed him, “Who told?”

“Let’s just say a little bird told me,” the recovery agent leered.

Zartex concluded, “It was probably that old man sitting next to him. He texted as soon as he saw us.

“We had a rat!” Carmen exclaimed.

“That’s right!” the recovery agent reveled.

“No, there were no rodents on the bus,” Zartex remarked. “There was a cat on the side of the vehicle though.” Carmen and Garith grinned at the assassin’s confused look.

The recovery agent shook his head. He then cocked his gun, ready to fire. “Any last requests?”

Garith noticed some music was softly playing on the radio. “Yeah, can you turn it up?”

He gave them a curious look but complied. Zartex, Carmen, and Garith knowingly smiled at each other and braced themselves for another emotional overload.

 

 

 

Sabotage, Chapter 8

“Look what I found!” Garith held up a dusty red CD player. He trailed behind Zartex and Carmen, all of whom hiked alongside a railroad that ran through a high desert mountainside. The ground was a dark brown and didn’t feel as sandy as they expected. The plants that grew next to the formations didn’t offer a lush landscape but still bore enough foliage that made this route less bare. The mountain itself was smooth and dark brown and gave the added benefit of a nice shadow that cast over the three of them as they walked.

Carmen and Zartex turned to him, and Carmen laughed, “A discman! I haven’t seen those since high school! It reminds me of cheerleading; I used to have one when I practiced routines.”

“Speaking of cheerleading..” Garith, who opened up the CD player, showed Carmen the disc inside. “Gwen Steffani’s L.A.M.B. album!”

“Ooh yeah!” Carmen sang, “A few times I’ve been around that track…”

Garith sang, “…so it’s not just gonna happen like that…”

Carmen and Garith both sang, “…’Cause I ain’t no hollaback girl!” They both laughed.

Zartex chimed in, “I’m familiar with cheerleading but I have not heard of this hall-la-back girl.” He peeked at the CD in Garith’s hand. “Love Angel Music Baby?”

Garith offered, “It looks like the CD player still works. Do you wanna listen?”

“Careful about this,” Zartex warned him. “If I get really into a song, I go into a sensory overload, which will pull anyone around me into my vision. It’s kind of like a music video.”

“Yeah right.” Garith handed him the CD player, and Zartex immediately listened to it. Garith conversed with Carmen, “You were a cheerleader? I thought you did theatre.”

“I only did cheerleading for a year,” Carmen stated. “I took a theatre class freshman year ’cause I thought it would be an easy A. I didn’t think I would fall in love!”

“That makes sense.” Garith shivered a little. “How are you not cold?”

Before Carmen could answer, Zartex started hum and awkwardly dance to song playing. “Wow, I didn’t know aliens could dance!”

“If you call that dancing!” Garith remarked. “Or an alien.”

“Didn’t you see his badge picture?”

“I saw the picture, but…”

“Are you calling me crazy?”

“No, no, no!”

“Do you honestly think I’m so crazy or stressed that I actually bought an insane claim? I saw his face! He can do extraordinary things that we can’t fathom!”

“Excuse me for being skeptical for-”

As a train sped by, the world suddenly stopped and morphed into something entirely new. They found themselves on a high school football field with half of the train passengers on the stands. The mountain still remained on the side of the field opposite of the bleachers. The song “Wind It Up” plays:

High on the hills with the lonely goatherd,                            Zartex, dressed as a nun,

lay-od-lay-od-lay-he-hoo                                                          appeared at the top of the

he yelled back with the girl and goatherd                            mountain and sung this

lay-od-lay-od-low                                                                      stanza.

 

Wind it up!                                                               Carmen, who stood at the head of a

Wind it up!                                                               cheer squad, summoned their

Wind it up!                                                              attention. Garith drummed in a

Yodellay, yodellay, yodel-low!                              marching band that formed around

(Yeah!)                                                                      the field.

 

This is the key that makes us wind up.                           The cheer squad began their

When the beat comes on, the girls line up,                    routine that flows with the

and the boys all look, but no, they can’t touch,             song. The marching band and

but the girls want to know why boys like                     a mascot, a goat, also danced

us so much.                                                            around them. Zartex swayed on

They like the way we dance, they like the                  the mountain.

way we work.

They like the way that LAMB is going ‘cross

           my shirt.

They like the way my pants, it compliments

          my shape.

They like the way we react every time

         we hear the…

 

Every time the bass bangs, realize it                           Zartex sang these lyrics.

it calls your name.

Let the beat wind you up and don’t

          stop ’til your time is up!

(Get in line now!)

 

Wind it up!                                                          The crowd, the band, Zartex, and the

Wind it up!  (C’mon)                                          cheerleaders all sang the chorus.

Wind it up!

Yodelay, yodelay, yodel-low!

 

You’ve got to let the beat get under your skin.                  Zartex sang this part.

You’ve got to open up and let it all in.      

But see, once it gets in, the popping begins,

then you’ll find out why all the boys stare.

 

See, they’re trying bite our style,                                       Carmen and the cheerleaders

they try to study our approach.                                         sang this part.

They like the way we do it, so original.

I guess they are slow, so they should leave the room.

This beat is for the clubs, and the cars go-

 

Every time the bass bangs, realize it calls                          Zartex sang this part.

your name.

Let the beat wind you up and don’t stop

            ’til your time is up!

(Get in line now!)

 

Wind it up! (When you’re ready)                                     Everyone sang this part.

Wind it up!

Wind it up!

Wind it up!

Yodelay, yodelay, yodel-low!

 

This is your moment. (Uh huh)                                       Zartex sang as every cheerleader

Come on, girl, you know you own it.                             but Carmen did a floor routine.

(Uh huh) You know your key is still                              The cheerleaders sang the words

  tick-tocking,                                                           in parentheses.

(Hell yeah) but you know they’re watching.

 

Get it, girl, get it girl, get it girl!                                   The cheerleaders pose on the floor.

Get it girl, get it girl, get it girl!                                   Everyone but Carmen sang as she

To the floor, to the side, to the back,                         did a solo.

but don’t let him ride.

Keep going, girl, it’s your night!

Don’t let him steal your light!

 

I know he thinks you’re fine and stuff,                       Zartex sang this part as Carmen

but does he know how to wind you up?                     finished her solo.

(C’mon)

 

Wind it up!                                                                    The cheerleaders got up, and

Wind it up!                                                                    everyone went back to singing

Wind it up!                                                                    and dancing.

Wind it up!

Yodelay, yodelay, yodelay, hey!                                As the song ended, everyone on the

field posed together, and the crowd

cheered.

 

After the song was over, the world shifted back into its original shape. The train, while a little farther than where it was before the song, continued on its way. Zartex, Carmen, and Garith, who were also further than they were before, still stood in the poses they had at the end of the song and started to become more cognitively aware, as if they got pulled out of a trance. Zartex scaled down the mountain. Garith figured out he didn’t have any drums in front of him and stopped motioning his hands like he was still playing the instrument. Carmen realized she stood in a way where she was doing a half split and winced as she got back up.

Carmen figured out pretty quickly that his phenomenon must have been the sensory overload that Zartex warned her about. This discovery made her calm down a bit, but Garith was still freaking out. “What just happened? Why did the world flip like that? How? Why?…”

Zartex jumped back onto the desert floor. “The energy beamed from my emotions and manipulated the environment around me. For a moment, my surroundings absorbed my energy and became part of my vision. I don’t think humans fully understand how powerful one’s energy can be!”

“I get what you’re saying,” Carmen opinionated. “Vibes can be felt and measured. Like, when I would go to certain houses, once in a while, I would get a bad feeling. Or, if someone is in a good mood, it rubs off on you and you can feel it too. I guess our intuition can measure frequencies our body can’t!”

” How come no one on the train is freaking out?” Garith probed.

Zartex informed him, “They just have a lapse in memory, like a mini blackout. You two remember the experience because I told you about it beforehand.”

“Lucky me!” Garith said sarcastically.

“Now, don’t go publishing about an alien’s presence on your news site!” Carmen warned him.

“I know that!” Garith snapped. “I’m a reporter for the world news, not a gossip rag!” He paused for a moment and apologized, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to yell. I’m sure you understand why I’m freaking out. How did you react when you found out?”

“I was too stunned to move let alone comprehend it all,” Carmen related. “Once I did figure it out, I just kind of went with it. Everything happening around me was so crazy that I guess an alien was the least of my problems!”

Zartex exclaimed, “Boy, that was fun! We got a little farther ahead with very little effort on our parts! We should do this the whole way there!”

“Please don’t!” Garith requested.

Zartex tried to play the CD but it wouldn’t even turn on. Carmen told him, “The batteries probably died.”

“Good!” Garith requested.

Carmen grinned. “Party pooper!”

Garith reacted fervently, “You call this a party?”

 

 

Turning 30, Chapter 12

Cera, Will, Ashlynn, and Feliz sat a table for six in a busy karaoke bar. They sat in the back area, which could not quite call it a balcony because it was low enough to the ground, but it was a little more elevated than the rest of the bar. The bar had a fairly large stage with colorful lights, and the DJ sat on the side of the stage. The crowd was very diverse in terms of age, race, and social status. Cera, Will, and Ashlynn were not paying attention to any of it because Feliz was upset.

Cera asked incredulously, “You slept with her? Why would you do that?”

Feliz replied, “I still want to be a good husband until I tell her. I will tell her, but I panic every time I think about it.”

“Is there ever a right time?” Ashlynn pondered. “I mean, life decisions are never really easy to make, and it’s not like the heavens will move and deliver a clear message of when it’s time. The longer you wait, the harder it’ll be. At some point, you have to choose your own happiness above any expectations. Stop suffering like this, bite the bullet, and just do the thing you’re afraid of!”

Feliz considered her words but did not look sold yet. “It’s going to break her heart. And my family’s. I’m not ready to make that kind of impact yet.”

“Dude,” Will offered, “next time she’s in the mood, turn off the lights and let me do her. As your friend, it’s the least I can do.”

Feliz replied sarcastically, “What a noble sacrifice!”

Cera joked, “Don’t go acting like a sad sap. We already have that position filled by Tadd!”

“So, until Tadd is cured, we can’t have any emotional problems?” Feliz probed.

“No!” Cera, Ashlynn, and Will answered in unison. The four of them laughed.

At that moment, Lavena found their table. She guided Tadd there by linking arms. She sat Tadd down and looked at the stage in disgust. A young man was singing a Justin Bieber ballad. Lavena commented, “How are we supposed to cheer him up with this crappy music? What’s the name of the chick that originally sang this song?”

Cera told her, “Justin Bieber.”

Lavena blushed a little. “Oh! I was thinking it was the Hannah Montana girl.”

Will remarked, “This is what pop music has come down to? Our generation idolized pure talent. What is this? When did it at all change? Like, when did our baggy jeans get replaced with skinny jeans? Now suddenly it’s considered macho to wear make up and rock the man bun. What happened to pop culture? Actually, guys, when did we become uncool?”

The song ended, and the crowd politely applauded for the young man, who took a bow and left the stage. A karaoke host came onto the stage and spoke into the microphone, “Alright, thank you Skylar! Up next, we have a very special performance from a hip young cat, Jerry!”

As the karaoke host stepped offstage, Jerry stepped out. Jerry dressed very young but was clearly in his thirties. He took the microphone and before the music started, he announced, “This song is dedicated to that very lovely ginger in the back.” Jerry pointed to the back, and a spotlight shined on Lavena. Lavena cringed while Ashlynn, Cera, Feliz, and Will looked amused. Tadd definitely looked out of place with his stoic face. The music for “The Mammal Song” came on, and that just heightened everyone’s feelings.

Jerry was very into his performance as he sang:

“Ha ha, well now we call this the art of mating,
but there are some very important differences
between human beings and animals that you should know about.”

Lavena looked embarrassed, but Ashlynn, Feliz, Cera, and Will stopped paying attention to her because they were festively dancing and singing along.

Jerry continued singing,

“I’d appreciate your input.
Sweat baby sweat baby, sex is a Texas drought.
Me and you do the stuff that only Prince would sing about.
So put your hands down my pants and I bet you’ll feel nuts.
Yes I’m Siskel, yes I’m Ebert, and you’re getting two thumbs up.
You’ve had enough of the two hand touch, you want it rough.
You’re out of bounds.
I want you smothered, I want you covered like my Waffle House hash browns.
Come quicker than FedEx, never reach apex, just like Coca-Cola stock.
You are inclined to make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time.

Do it now.
You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals,
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
Do it again now.
You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals,
so let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
Get horny now!”

The music abruptly stops. Ashlynn, Cera, Feliz, and Will were in mid-dance and look disappointed. Lavena, who was thoroughly irritated by this dedication to her, dryly snapped, “Act your age!”

Will responded with a question, “How exactly do we do that?” Lavena tried to spea, thought about it, and silently agreed that he had a point.

The karaoke host got on stage and took the microphone from Jerry. “Okay, when we agreed to dedicate a song to someone, we didn’t know that it’d turn into sexual harassment. Mike, you said it was a romantic song!” He glared at the DJ, who just shrugged. “Sorry, ma’am. Management says that a round of drinks is due at your table with our deepest apology.” Ashlynn, Cera, Will, and Feliz cheer at that. When the host tried to kick Jerry off the stage, Jerry does the “call me” sign to Lavena, who responded by staring daggers at him. He pointed to Ashlynn and silently asked if he could call her. Ashlynn laughed and shook her head. Cera looked hopeful, but the karaoke host literally shoved him off the stage. He collected himself. “Next up, we have…Tadd!”

Lavena, Cera, Ashlynn, Will, and Feliz all stared at Tadd in shock. Tadd unenthusiastically picked himself up and walked to the stage. Tadd had a despondent demeanor as he took the microphone. He sadly told the crowd, “This is dedicated to Brie, wherever you are…” The music for “I Drive Myself Crazy” by N’Sync played, and the other five exchange looks of concern and confusion.

Tadd sang,

“Lying in your arms, so close together,
didn’t know just what I had.
Now I toss and turn ’cause I’m without you,
how I’m missing you so bad.

Where was my head, where was my heart?
Now I cry alone in the dark!

I lie awake, I drive myself crazy,
drive myself crazy thinking of you.
Made a mistake when I let you go, baby.
I drive myself crazy wanting you the way I do.”

Tadd started to bawl. Will, Feliz, Lavena, and Cera shake their heads in disappointment. Ashlynn looked on edge. She could tell what was coming, and she got up and started to head towards the stage. The other four looked at her questioningly. The crowd was encouraging him to continue.

“Come on Tadd!”

“You can do it!”

The crowd clapped and cheered sympathetically. Someone whistled, and Ashlynn turned to her friends to silently say that was why she was heading to the stage. The other four headed down to help her. Tadd’s tantrum was a little softer than it had been in the past, but the audience did not know that. The y stared at him in confusion and little disgust. Ashlynn reached the stage first, and she stooped to pick up his arm and hoist him up. The karaoke host gave her a blank stare, and smiled awkwardly. “How about we rain check those drinks?”

She giggled nervously. Lavena, Cera, Feliz, and Will got onstage to help her. As they led the flailing Tadd off the stage, Lavena spoke to the crowd, “He’s making progress, I swear!”

The audience did not respond. As they exited, Jerry got back on stage and commented, “Man, I can’t believe she’s going home with that guy!”The karaoke host shook his head, and they prepared to continue as if nothing had happened.