“Isn’t it illegal to open other people’s mail?” Mara sourly queried.
“Is any of this legal?” I gestured around the federal property we were currently occupying, and she pouted but offered no verbal response to my logic. I smirked slightly, but I continued to tear open the envelope with a bit of trepidation. I was pretty certain that I was correct, but if I was prying into someone else’s parcel, I would’ve felt bad! It usually turned out to be a pain in the neck to contact customer service in the twenty-first century, but I could only imagine it being worse in an era without online chats or even a phone that isn’t tethered to an outlet! I supposed if I got proven wrong, I could leave a note of apology or something… I shook off the notion of a negative outcome and kept going. I snatched the contents from within out, and…
Phoebe, my ancestors, and I breathed a sigh of relief upon viewing the Rainbow Tektite, but Raphael’s eyebrows furrowed at the stone. “So, this thing will take us back to the present?”
I confirmed, “Yes! I know it probably sounds crazy…”
“Not crazier than almost dying by killer dolls!” Raphael affirmed.
“Ha! I wish I could see that apocalyptic a-hole’s face when he realizes that he literally handed us the key to toppling his plan for the Eighties Realm!” Phoebe laughed.
Everyone but Mara gleefully giggled at that image. Was the doom she predicted something she wanted to be right about? After our moment of mirth, my dad advised, “Let’s not waste too much time here! Why don’t we go get my brother and Aunt Mildred before anything else weird tries to murder us!’ We all concurred, and everyone hurried out of that sector.
As we neared the lobby, my mom brought up to Jasper, “So, are we ever gonna talk about why you left my mother?”
A group of men in suits entered into the vicinity, so Jasper relayed to my mom, “Probably not!”
“What are you guys doing back here?” one of them questioned us.
“Uh… We were just…” Osra absentmindedly gesticulated between the rear and the front of the post office as she drummed up an excuse for our presence there.
The Secret Service man who made that enquiry inferred something she didn’t intend to communicate from her action. “Oh! I get it! But, as much as I can sympathize with your need to hide, you can’t do it here! Don’t worry though- that old lady put her clothes back on!”
Another Secret Service agent shuddered. “Only ‘cause I agreed to take her phone number!” I grew alarmed upon learning this fact- what would’ve happened if he tried to call her? Would he have simply reached a random person who currently owned that number, or would dialing a number to someone living in the future disturb the natural order of the universe? Fortunately, he assured me, “Don’t sweat it, I’m not gonna waste my long distance on that!”
As that man threw a scrap of paper away, Rezart canvassed the congregation, “Long distance? What the heck is that?”
The Secret Service agents gazed at us quizzically, so Rowen nervously chuckled, “He doesn’t pay the bills, how would he know? Okay, we’ll be leaving now!” We dashed off prior to anyone allowing this interaction to persist further.
“Oh, hey! Sorry, we didn’t wait inside! They trespassed us from the building,” Uncle Chester explained as he and Great Aunt Mildred hung out on the sidewalk. “And there’s no need to fret about their documentation over this matter- I gave them names from characters on a sitcom that won’t exist for another thirty years!”
“Great!” I gave him a thumbs up and inwardly thanked the heavens that they didn’t do a background check on them! I surveyed the street before me, and when I discerned that it was vacant, I denoted, “Wow! The monsters are gone!”
Phoebe recommended, “Let’s get out of here before any more of them decide to show up!”
Great Aunt Mildred agreed, “Yeah! I wanna hurry to my cellphone in case that hunk decides to give me a ring immediately!” No one had the heart to tell her the reality of that aspiration, and I uttered the magic words to exit this realm.
Or, at least I thought I requested to go to the Earthly Realm! We landed on a country road by a field where a little girl in a dress that covered her from neck to ankles was playing, and Kendra grumped, “Oh, fantastic! We’re in the eighteen-eighties again! See, didn’t we say the situation is getting worse?”
Natalia asserted, “We need to put a stop to Damon’s scheme quick! The problem is only going to get worse!” She gave the little girl a look, and the little girl wept as she handed the Rainbow Tektite over to her.
Thankfully, after that round, we landed back in my abode! I didn’t know what I would have done if we got sent to a realm where our transportation home wasn’t so easy to obtain! Everyone but Phoebe and me blinked in confusion- they were all winded, but they couldn’t comprehend why! My parents, Great Aunt Mildred, Uncle Chester, Raphael, and Rowen all pushed their wine glasses away,, and Raphael muttered, “See! This is why I never drink on the job!”
“Gosh, I didn’t think you gave me any, but apparently you did! I’m so sorry!” Mara apologized to me. Phoebe gave her a contemptuous stare, and Mara backed away from me. “I wasn’t gonna hit on him, I swear! Although…”
“Why do I feel strange?” Rezart wondered. “All I had was fruit today!” He sniffed the red stain on his shirt, and then he fretted, “Oh no! Papa, am I grounded?”
Rowen measuredly responded, “That depends… Did you have fruit before supper?”
As Rezart struggled to manufacture a justification for this misconduct, I was prepared to fess up to “accidentally” spilling merlot on the child, but then the subject of this conversation triggered a memory for me. If Damon’s mysterious ally slipped Cricket the Rainbow Tektite shards in her smoothie, and Rezart ate some produce preceding his interdimensional travel, then that could only mean one thing… “Rezart, where did you get the fruit you ate today?”
“At the Farmer’s Market,” Rezart reported.
“Who gave it to you? And what was it?” I interrogated him.
Rezart scratched his noggin in perplexion. “It was something sweet…”
I requested, “Could you be more specific?” I hoped I was hiding the desperation in my voice! We may have missed out on nabbing Damon in the Eighties Realm, but we stood a chance of nailing him back on Earth! I felt my relatives’ judgmental glances on me right then, and I’m sure it sounded strange for me to care so much about what the neighbor kid ate, but if I could save the fate of humanity by learning what snack he snuck, it would have been worth it!
“No! I can’t remember anything from that trip!” Rezart earnestly strove to recall this information, but his brain appeared to have fogged up!
“Alright! Shall we get back to what we were discussing previously?” Raphael suggested. His expression contorted in befuddlement, and then he puzzled, “What were we discussing?”
Miriam helpfully supplied, “The location for the wedding!” She studied Phoebe and me for a few seconds, and she asked, “Did I miss anything good?”
Phoebe answered, “Good? No! Luckily for you, you didn’t!”
“You know, in the eighties, I married a dude at this chapel by the interstate… Ah, the eighties! I was a real hoot back then!” Great Aunt Mildred happily recollected.
“Yeah, I know!” I instantly recalled. She seemed surprised by my reaction, so I supplemented that with, “You mentioned it recently…”
Raphael articulated, “I love that we’re group-thinking ideas on this! Who else has-?”
Prior to Raphael finishing that sentence, Roxy stormed in through the glass door. She gawked at us furiously, and she vehemently concluded, “You tricked me! You got me distracted so you could do… whatever dastardly deed you did against my honey-bunny! How dare you commit such an atrocity! Well, you may have fooled me once or twice or three times, but I won’t let you do it again! I promise, I shall get revenge for what you did to… What are you doing?”
“Hi, Sage! This is Connor!” I spoke into my cellphone. “Your daughter broke into my house and is spewing gibberish! What’s that? You want me to hold her here so you can pick her up and punish her when you get back to your place? Okay, if you insist…” Roxy’s eyes widened, and she slipped out the back. I tittered as I set my phone on the table, revealing it wasn’t even on! I contemplated it briefly, and I opined, “I should get her folks’ number!”
“So anyways… I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but can we get back to planning that marriage ceremony?” my father begrudgingly recommended. My mother ogled at him in admonishment, so he sardonically stated, “I mean, I enjoy this kind of stuff…”
As the topic steered to themes and motifs, my mind wandered off. Not because I shared my dad’s disinterest in the small details (though I did!), I couldn’t prevent myself from deliberating on how these youths unwittingly consumed transdimensional rocks. What possibly could have masked that taste? I couldn’t drum up anything, but if Rezart got his tainted nosh from the Farmer’s Market, I thought that ought to have been worth checking out…
Phoebe and I stood with Aleck and Ellie under a shade tree near a parking lot, and Aleck brought out various items from his pockets. “…bandages, scissors… Let’s see! What else? Oh, dental floss and a pencil…”
“What exactly are you preparing for?” Ellie inquired.
“I dunno!” Aleck replied. “That’s why I packed a bunch of random objects- you never know when one or more of these things may come in handy!”
Phoebe pointed out, “Yeah, but most of the time, the universe takes away our clothes, so you may not have access to any of it!’ Aleck opened his mouth to argue with that, but he couldn’t come up with a valid riposte, so he clammed up instead.
Fletcher arrived and had a leashed bloodhound trotting alongside him. “That’s why I brought old Spike here! If we get transported anywhere, he’ll come and assist!” Spike let out a huge yawn, and Fletcher defended his decision, “He’s gotta recharge his batteries a bit, but he’ll be rarin’ to go when he’s needed!” As Spike lay down to rest in the grass, I seriously doubted he would provide much protection against any monster we might have faced in the next realm!
“Ooh! What a lovely day! This was such a great idea, babe!” a thin, blonde woman chirped as she strolled with Ginger. “Oh, hold on! I forgot my sunhat!”
“You don’t need it, Brielle!” Ginger contended.
Brielle shot back, “Yeah, but how often do I get a chance to wear it?”
I quietly accosted Ginger, “You brought your girlfriend?”
“Not exactly! I told her where I was going, and she invited herself to join us!” Ginger informed me.
“Are you nuts?” Ellie quarreled. “We don’t need any more family members getting mixed in with this paranormal nonsense!”
Ginger disputed, “What was I supposed to do? Tell her she can’t come in case we gotta fight something spooky in another dimension?”
The others showed signs of wanting to bicker over this move some more, but since I knew we couldn’t waste a minute under these circumstances, I instructed everyone, “Keep an eye out for Mrithan or anyone else from the school handing out food or drinks to our students. If you see something suspicious, just tug on my sleeve, and we’ll-!”
“Ready to go?” Brielle prodded us.
“Gah!” I jumped from the fright of her abruptness.
Brielle chuckled, “Relax! It’s me! What were you expecting? A ghost?”
She had obviously delivered that in jest, but it was so close to the truth that it was hard to display any amusement! I gave her a weak smile, and then I directed the collective, “Let’s explore, shall we?”
There was an array of stalls selling crops as well as other edible goods and handcrafted ware, and if it weren’t for an escaped demon threatening to wreak havoc on all of society, it may have been an enjoyable excursion! We were all too on edge scouring the scenery for clues to appreciate any of it, but we had to bear an agreeable visage whenever Brielle showed interest in something. We hadn’t crossed paths with anyone from Rosemary King High yet, so it was starting to feel like a waste of an afternoon until…
“Fancy meeting you all here!” Manuel merrily greeted us. When he peered at us more closely, he pondered, “Why do you all seem so pale? You realize you can sleep in on Sundays, right?”
“Oh, it’s just… um… wedding planning stuff!” I fibbed. That wasn’t a total lie, I simply didn’t mention what occurred during the meeting about our nuptials!
I cringed after I brought up tying the knot with him! Neither Phoebe nor I were keen on doing it on campus, but it was hard to dole out an honest refusal since he was so excited about the premise! Mercifully, he didn’t bring that up! “Understandable! Understandable! Hey, you guys should check out Mary’s stand on the other side of the market! She makes the best muffins! Not the best for my diet though!”
Manuel guffawed at his quip, and I feebly kidded, “Boy, you’d think since she works in a kitchen, Mary would want a break from it, but apparently not!” Manuel tittered as he ambled off to another section, and once he was out of our vicinity, we glanced at each other questioningly. I considered the possibility, “Well, muffins might be a decent method of disguising…”
“What are we waiting for? I wanna try one! I’m starving!” Brielle prompted us. We swiftly acquiesced and headed in that direction.
“Oh, hey!” Peter waved to us as he guzzled down a bottle of soda. “Is this a field trip or something?”
Ginger ignored his airheadedness and quizzed him, “Where’d you get that?”
Peter relayed to her, “This? Oh, that stand over there…”
He indicated to a small stall that was currently unoccupied. I sincerely wished that the culprit didn’t conceal the Rainbow Tektites in his beverage since I positively didn’t want to go on another misadventure with that… (shall we say, less than bright?) kid again, but if that was the case, at least we were better prepared at this juncture! Nobody appeared to be at that site, but when I poked my head over the counter, I could see that I was wrong…!
My Stories 