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EXT. TEMCA ACADEMY. NIGHT.
BG-The school is old but very well kept up. It consists of brick buildings and tons of trees and plants that line the campus. Anielle and Joshua fly over it.
See, I told you my way was faster.
Well, excuse me for trying to save us
a little bit of time.
But why didn’t you just listen to me?
I’m training to be a crime solver-I
know the skies.
My dad is the leading broom
manufacturer in the country. I made
the trip a dozen times before!
EXT. DOG HOUSE. NIGHT.
Their dorm is called the Doctor Olivia Ganges House. BG-a lot of students are flying in or appearing by portals. A lot of parents are helping their freshmen move in and there is floating luggage everywhere. Toci is waiting for them in front of the dorm, and she can hear them arguing as they approach.
Rough journey, I take it?
Oh, you know how men are
And you know how women are
Ready for a new year?
Yeah, I can’t wait to see what monsters
we battle this year.
Oh come on! Like that’s gonna happen
again! Think about all of the new stuff
we get to learn! I cant’ wait to see my plants!
Toci sees their lack of enthusiasm.
Don’t you guys think that this year
will be fun?
If by fun you mean a lot of work,
then yes, it’ll be lots of fun.
But you like your work!
Yes, but between classes, his job, and
my new job at that shoe store, we won’t
have a lot of time to spend together.
I know like ten places on campus
you can do it between classes!
I meant actual time to talk and stuff.
Oh come on! You guys gotta do it as
often as possible! Life is short-you’ve
gotta have fun whenever you have the
chance! Plus, I don’t get to have sex,
so you gotta do it in my honor.
That’d be weird.
CIRCE (thin, blonde, fake tan, clothes are girly/slutty) goes by and sees Anielle.
Hi! It’s my old roommate! How was
your summer? Was it ducky plucky
Good! I’m so excited! I got at Dragon
The Dragon Heart Shoes that’s on Merlin
Crap! The good news just keeps on
Anielle goes inside. Circe looks confused.
She works at the same one you do.
Circe looks excited.
Really? Come back, my new
She runs after her. Toci starts to go inside, but Joshua grabs her shoulder.
Do me a favor and find what Anielle’sring size is.
Okay, but wouldn’t it be easier just
to get her, like, a necklace then?
Uh, no, it’s kind of a special ring…
Why? Does it have a spell on it? She
could probably use the calming effect
ring or the…what? Are you blushing?
Oh, it’s a seduction ring!
No? What powers does it have?
It has the power to ask her to marry me.
She gasps and squeals like a school girl.
Oh my God! You’re gonna get married?
When? Who’s coming? I know some
gardens that will-!
I’m going to save up for the wedding.
We can stay engaged for a while. We’re
gonna spend a lot of time apart, so I just
want her to know how much I care about
her, even when I can’t be there.
Toci stoops down and grabs an herb.
This should help with the digestive
He sees that Anielle has come back out.
Oh, right, gotcha!
Oh, plant stuff. I should have guessed.
So, Toci, I see you’re in the mood for
planting. You’ll love our room.
INT. ANIELLE AND TOCI’S ROOM. NIGHT.
Anielle and Toci’s two beds, two dressers, and two desks along with their knick-knacks and posters are covered in a leafy vine. The whole room is plastered with it.
Oh, I forgot that without water,
they grow uncontrollably! No matter-
I can fix this.
Toci waves her scepter around to prune it. George enters carrying a bottle of La Cupacabre Tequila.
You’re pronouncing it wrong!
That’s how it’s spelled! Wait, is
it pronounced ha-lah?
Toci hits her forehead.
Anyone up for some pre-semester
partying? I bought this stuff cuz it
has a stronger kick, which my people
Go ahead, try some!
Alright, I will!
He opens the bottle and takes a sip. He immediately gags and spits out fire.
I guess it takes a while to get used to.
He takes another sip and tries to hold it down.
This plant may take me a while to trim.
And Joshua’s new roommate is gonna be
in the baño for a while, so now might be
a good time for some alone time with
She shrugs and leaves. One of the plants emits a small burp.
Oh no! It ate my singing nectarine bush!
INT. JOSHUA AND GEORGE’S ROOM. LATE NIGHT.
BG-George’s half of the room has a bunch of Mexican souvenirs along with his old posters of scantily clad girls and broom football teams. Joshua’s side looks like a crime solver office. Joshua lays in bed spooning Anielle.
I didn’t say anything.
I know what you were thinking.
How about now?
How fast do you think you I’d change
Is that a yes?
No! Can’t you see that I’m not in
I thought you said it helps you sleep.
Yeah, but only when I wanna do it. I
keep thinking about Babelsama.
Eiww! No wonder you’re turned off!
No, it’s just that…I feel like we got off
too easily; like he’s an evil genius, so
how could merely going to prison stop him?
Look, ten years ago my boss locked up a
guy who used to magic people’s brains out
and then sell it as pie to the townspeople.
He said if he found a way to get out, he’d
go to Europe and do it again. And he’s tried
to escape too. A decade later, and he’s still
in prison. So, if our prison can hold the brain
harvester, I think we’re safe.
I just get the feeling something bad is
going to happen. Something is out there.
Like that woman!
Anielle darts up and looks out the window. INTERCUT- outside, Madame Fate (in a black hood, face is hidden) posts a flier on a lamp post. INTERCUT BACK to Anielle.
Who is that woman? Why is she posting
fliers in the middle of the night?
He pulls her back into bed.
Is this because of the murder case I’m
working on? You know my job is risky,
there’s nothing to-.
My job is risky too. Rescue healer. Wait,
that’s my career. I work in a shoe store
Don’t worry so much! Or at least, not
so much. Now, unless you’ve changed
your mind about-.
Then I’m going to get some rest.
Joshua closes his eyes. Anielle looks uneasy but eventually she closes her eyes too.
INT. LEILA’S KITCHEN. AFTERNOON.
There are two chairs left, and the other chairs are floating with the table. The three remaining contestants are Victoria, one of her cousins, and Joshua.
Why am I still here? I’m not
It’s not fair! I only got out because
I was distracted when someone elbowed
me in the face! This game gets very
Yeah, it probably had nothing to do
with the sombrero.
The music starts again. Joshua trudges along while the kids look excited. When the music stops, Victoria and her cousin fight over a seat while Joshua sits easily in the other. Victoria uses her hips and knocks him off the seat. Everyone laughs.
Okay, it’s between Joshua and the
Let her win.
What do you think I’ve been trying
to do this whole time?
Leila uses her scepter to start the music again. Victoria is actively trying to grab the chair while Joshua avoids it. Suddenly, a bang from the garage is heard. Joshua’s peace officer instincts make him stop playing. Leila stops the music, and Victoria grabs the seat.
Yes, it seems like this seat was
destined for you.
Psst! Joshua, you’re a peace officer,
Sort of. What happened?
Can you come here?
Joshua follows Ramone out. Toci, Anielle, and George curiously follow while Leila tends to the party.
EXT. GARAGE. AFTERNOON.
Ramone leads them through the front yard.
I was in the backyard having a cigar
when I saw a man on a broomstick
zoom by the house. He was moving
too quickly to get a good look, but
he left us a message.
On the garage door, the words, “Do not interfere-I have your cat” are etched in glowing red.
“Do not interfere-I have your cat.”
You don’t have a cat!
I know! We have a chihuahua, but I’d
pay someone to take that pendejo-
pees on all the furniture!
It still sounds like someone’s trying to
threaten you, even if they’re not very
good at it.
Let me get a quick image of the graffiti
and I’ll bring it to my boss.
Joshua takes his scepter out and floats his spy camera to just the right angle to get a picture of the crime. He points at the garage again, and his broom comes to him.
Thank you for inviting me to the party.
I’ll see you soon, babe.
(to George and Toci)
See you at school.
You won’t see us til the semester
starts in a week? Will it really take
you that long to solve this graffiti case?
I will say ah-dee-ohs per-drey!
Toci points her scepter at his sombrero, and it catches on fire. George takes his scepter and puts out the fire. He takes it off and looks at the charred top.
Great, now it looks stupid!
Joshua laughs, waves to everyone, and takes off.
Why would anyone threaten us?
They’re probably not after you. If
they’ve got the right house, they’re
after me. I know who, but I don’t know how.
How could we not interfere if we
don’t know what it is that we’re
supposed to be avoiding?
I always knew fate would bring us
They start to head inside.
I still wanna know who’s cat he’s got!
INT. CASSIUS’S OFFICE. LATE AFTERNOON.
CASSIUS ( middle aged, dark & balding hair, pot belly) is going through his files. BG-a cluttered office with files and papers strewn about the desk and various posters with moving photos of criminals line the walls. A group of young people, mostly male, wait in the room. Joshua enters.
Ah, there’s Frederick. Now we’re just
waiting on Chang.
I have another case for you.
Joshua hands him the photo of the garage. Cassius studies it.
What kind of cat do they-?
They don’t have a cat. It’s a young
couple and their infant. And
sometimes their sister.
I see. Well, I’ll process it and add it to
your pile most likely. First day on the
job and already your instincts are
kicking in. Very nice job.
The others took a little jealous at his praise. Chang enters the room.
Alright, everyone is here, so we can begin.
Welcome to your first assignment. Most of you
are training to solve crimes at Temca Academy.
Sometimes you’ll need those skills. For those of
you who haven’t been trained, don’t worry. These
petty crimes are so easy to solve that any person
with half a brain can do it. But please note that on
behalf of the United States Department of Magical
Affairs, we thank you. Your participation allows
crime solvers to work on more important cases.
Cassius lays out a few folders.
For your own knowledge, I’m going to tell you
the meaning behind the different colored labels
on the folders. Light green is traffic violations,
and dark green is environmental offenses. Purple
is failure to appear in court. Light blue is theft
under fifty pieces, medium blue is theft from
fifty to five hundred pieces, and dark blue is
theft valuing over five hundred pieces. Yellow
is misuse of magic. Orange is non-fatal violence.
This dark pink is rape. Light pink is prostitution
and drugs. Red-murder. And white is kind of an
He puts the demonstrations away and plops a pile of folders on his desk.
These are your assignments. When you finish one,
fill out the paperwork and bring back here for your
new assignment. You can solve these on your own
time, just try to finish as quick as you can. Remember,
if non-magical people are involved in magical crimes,
call one of our memory modifying officers. Any
questions, call me. Okay, Anderson-purple. King-
white. Neehmed-light blue. Chang-green. Lopez-
another purple. Stevenson-yellow. Frederick-
white. Alright, if I’m not here, just leave your
solved in my inbox and pick a file on top of
this pile. Good luck!
Everyone but Joshua leaves. Joshua peers at the assignment pile.
Oh, you get to interview a swim suit model
about a restraining order. Nice!
I have a girlfriend.
So does she. What’s your point?
Sergeant, are you aware of a red label at
the bottom of the pile?
Oh that. Don’t worry about it.
But it’s a murder file!
Only technically. A prostitute was found dead on
Sepia Street. You know Sepia Street. Right smack
in the middle of the low income area. At first we
thought it could be drugs or alcohol, but the
coroner’s autopsy spell revealed murder. Looks
like another pimp thing. If they don’t make enough,
they get tossed aside. Serves them right for choosing
an illegal lifestyle. Drug dealers, prostitutes,
other low life criminals-they don’t deserve priority.
But that’s a human life! She may have made mistakes,
but she’s still someone’s family member! And who knows-
this could be a part of a serial killing, and anyone could
be next. Murder is murder-it doesn’t matter who the
victim is. If it is a pimp, we don’t him out there hurting
more girls. Or anyone else who gets in his way for that
matter. I signed up for this major because I believe that
every victim deserves justice, and to put one life so low
on the priority list is just…wrong!
Cassius looks at him quizzically.
Okay, mister humanitarian, if you think this
deserves a “high priority” to get solved, then
you can take the case.
Wow, I get to solve a murder?
Yes, but it’s not a capitol murder or anything.
Do you know what kind of monsters you gotta
deal with on Sepia Street?
Don’t worry, I’ve got a lot of experience
Alright kid, if you wanna risk your life for
those low lives, be my guest.
EXT. MADAME FATE’S SHOP. MIDNIGHT.
A bat soars through the night sky and down towards the streets. BG-a row of shops whose signs are unreadable because of the darkness. The buildings are old but well maintained and the streets are empty except for the bat. The bat tries to fly inside an open window, misses, and hits the wall. He lays down in the street in a daze. The door opens, and a hand swoops it in. The light turns on in the shop, and all that is seen is two silhouettes. One is a stout, pudgy woman, and the other is a tall, thin man.
I did it! It has been done.
Wow, that was really fast!
Ugh, I am so tired of you saying that!
This time it’s a good thing! Now that is done,
we can begin phase two of the plan. Let’s go
to my place. I’ve finished cleaning, so I just
The lights turn off. A cat walks by, and a crash from within the shop sends the cat scurrying off.
MADAME FATE (OS):
You didn’t “see” that coming?
Silence indicates their departure.
EXT. LEILA’S PORCH. AFTERNOON.
JOSHUA (brunette, slightly curled hair, gray eyes, medium toned skin, and in shape physique) comes up to a front porch. BG-a fairly large home with white paneled walls, blue shutters, and a door with a red brick archway. The pathway leading to the house is made of the same brick. The lawn is well kept and shrubs line the house. The white wooden fence has two balloons tied to it. Joshua knocks on the door. After a moment, the door opens and the sound of a dozen rambunctious kids greets him along with RAMONE (good looking, Hispanic, short curly hair, dark eyes, and a decent build). Ramone looks exhausted.
Oh, thank God! Another adult! My wife thought
it was a good idea to play Fly Tag in the house!
Oh, they could fly over the fence and get lost
(back to normal)
Yeah, great, now their brooms are knocking
down all our furniture! I think your friends
are avoiding the chaos. I don’t know where
they’re hiding, but every time I try to look,
one of those imps breaks something!
When I find them, I ‘ll have them come help.
Bless you! Come on in. Welcome to my
The sound of glass breaking is heard. Ramone runs over to the sound, cursing in Spanish. Joshua enters.
INT. GUEST BEDROOM. AFTERNOON.
BG-a fairly plain room with a bed, bureau, and a window. There is a couple of suitcases there and various items spread out. ANIELLE (good looking, fair skinned, golden brown eyes, and a curvy physique) sits on a bed with TOCI (sexy, Cuban, bohemian dresed).
I mean, can you believe that?
Um, yeah. Why not?
I don’t get it.
What’s going on?
Okay, you’re a guy, you tell me if this sounds
abnormal. I went on a date with Chad. You
remember Chad? He was in Anielle’s class before
she changed majors. Anyways, he took me to the
state fair, which I thought would be cool cuz I know
like ten places to sneak a little nookie in. But he just
stuck to the rides and games! He bought me a giant
pretzel and won me this mini dragon, and that’s it!
I thought maybe he just doesn’t like to do it in
public, but when he dropped me off, he kissed my
cheek and said good night!
Oh my God! What a jerk!
No! There’s something wrong with him!
He didn’t try to seduce me! I even bent
down and showed off my ass-nothing!
Well, that’s pretty normal. As a general rule,
if a guy respects a girl, he waits to have sex
That doesn’t make any sense!
We can’t focus on two things at once.
If we wanna get to know your mind,
we can’t think about your body. When
we get a sexy thought, we become pretty
Plus, he believes in waiting til marriage.
Well, there you go. What did you expect?
I’m making it my person mission to take
his virginity! It’s not fair! You two had sex
before you officially went on a date!
If you two almost die in a battle against a
notorious villain, then maybe he’ll consider
it. Hey, maybe Babelsama will even break
out of jail and try to murder you during a date!
Oh, don’t say that! I’m starting as Junior Crime
Solver this semester and I don’t wanna worry
about fighting his demons while I’m arresting
idiots. I know it’s a lot of tedious work solving
petty crimes, but at least I don’t gotta scrub
toilets to earn my tuition money anymore.
Hey, wherever you three are, you better
get down here!
Toci leaves right away. Anielle starts to leave, but Joshua grabs her hand.
I didn’t get a chance to say hi.
They kiss, and they leave the room.
INT. LEILA’S KITCHEN. AFTERNOON.
Toci, Anielle, and Joshua enter the kitchen, which has pretty typical furniture except for the table floating on the ceiling. LEILA (looks like Anielle but has darker hair, shorter height, and slightly more pudgy body) greets them looking very frazzled.
Thank you! It wasn’t easy organzing a
musical chair game by myself.
He went off in a huff after seeing
your friend, George.
Why? He’s met George before, and they
get along great.
Oh, I guess you haven’t seen him yet.
Toci, if you wanna leave, you can…
Why would I wanna-?
GEORGE (tall, athletic, dark hair, olive toned skin, and dark eyes) greets them while wearing an over-sized, gaudy sombrero and a mismatched poncho.
What the f-!
Guess what I found out?
You like to do some psychotic drug?
No! I’m part Mexican!
Just because you got lost in Vegas and
thought you were in Mexico…
Actually, my grandfather hit a dog in Arizona,
right in front of a peace officer. When he asked
for ID, my grandfather spit in his face. They
did a background check, and it turned out he
has been living here illegally, so they deported him.
No, it’s awesome! My grandfather was a
mean old bas-!
Shh! The kids!
And you had no idea he was Mexican?
He said he was Native American. I don’t
know why he’d hide it. I’m proud to be
Mexican! Too bad Ramone isn’t. I kept
calling him my fellow Mexican, and he
kept saying, “I’m not Mexican!” Then he
said he’s from El Salvador. I mean, you
can’t have it both ways!
El Salvador is a country. It’s in
VICTORIA (Leila and Ramone’s two year old child) runs up to Leila.
Mommy! You said we were going to play!
Okay, everyone sit on a chair. You four too!
George and Toci sit down, George a little too enthusiastic about it.
Why do we have to play?
Because my niece wants us to play.
She’s two-she won’t even remember this!
Do you want this to be her first memory?
Joshua begrudgingly agrees to play, and Leila starts the music.
INT. JOSHUA’S ROOM. LATE AFTERNOON.
Anielle steps over a lot of junk and knocks on his door. She is surprised when TERRENCE (an athletic African-American man with glasses and a small afro) answers the door.
Can I help you?
Is Joshua there?
Hey Joshua! You finally got a
pretty girl to come to your room!
Anielle is surprised to see Joshua without his shirt on, sprawled lazily on a small, circular chair. He is drinking a bottle of Bermuda rum, which he stows away when he sees Anielle.
What do you want?
Our spy cameras are here.
For, um, photography class.
Yeah, you know it’s part of
my Peace Officer Training!
You want to be a peace officer?
Crime solver, actually. And no,
I won’t drink on the job when I’m
Let’s not argue. We have to work
together for…photography class, so
let’s try not make things worse off.
Can I take your photography class?
No, it’s full.
Anyways, here’s your camera.
As she starts to hand it to him in the chair, he stands up to get it. As he stands, Anielle’s hand hits his crotch.
JOSHUA AND ANIELLE:
They are quiet for a moment.
I gotta go!
As she rushes out, she opens the door harder than necessary, which is effective in whacking Toci and George.
INT. ANIELLE’S ROOM. EVENING.
Anielle walks in the room, and she sees Circe hanging off the side of her bed upside down.
So, can I finally declare you
Circe does her obnoxious laugh.
I’m trying to think.
Then why would you…forget it.
Joshua appears in the doorway.
She rolls off the bed and slinks over to him.
I’m Circe, and yes, I’m single.
I believe you.
Circe looks offended.
Anielle, my roommate went
outside, and I heard him scream.
Okay, let’s get the others and go.
Where are we going?
Look! Something shiny!
Joshua and Anielle run out of the room while Circe eagerly looks around.
EXT. DOG HOUSE. EVENING.
The four run out and see the courtyard is eerily lit. They hear Terrence scream, and they run to it. Right by Toci’s plants, they can hear it the loudest, but they still cannot see him.
Terrence, buddy, where are ya?
Help! Oh, God, help! Help!
We’re trying! Where are you?
I don’t know! Get me out!
Anielle sees loose dirt below them.
We’re on top of him!
Again? I mean, for the first time?
Let’s dig him out!
They pull out their scepters and magically uproot the dirt. Under all the dirt is a coffin. The four drag it out, and the boys pry it open. Terrence rushes out of it, gasping and visibly shaken.
Who did this to you?
I don’t know, but my worst fear
was being buried alive!
Let’s go to the school healer.
This time, it’s not a broom
George and Toci help Terrence up and bring him away. Anielle and Joshua feel awkward being alone together. A bat flies by and gives Anielle a note.
It’s from Peter!
Dear Anielle, good news! I
landed the new account! I’m
going to be super busy again,
but I will come visit before
the semester is over. Yours
What’s wrong with that?
Why didn’t he say love?
He loves me! He doesn’t need
to say it!
If you say so. I need a drink!
If you get to make bad decisions,
then so do I.
Joshua leaves. Anielle stands there looking a little confused.
INT. ANIELLE’S ROOM. LATE NIGHT.
Anielle climbs into bed, still mad. She lays down angrily and shuts her eyes.
(singing in her sleep)The boogeyman
is here! The boogeyman is here!
Anielle puts a pillow over her ears and tries to sleep.
INT. CAFETERIA. MORNING.
Anielle sits by herself in a very large, crowded sitting area. She has dark circles under her eyes, and she rests her chin in her palms as she sips coffee. Joshua passes by and gives her a look of disgust. Anielle feels annoyed. Circe almost sits by her with her friend, Agatha, from down the hall.
Hey, this one looks free!
Oh, never mind.
Circe and Agatha walk away, whispering gossip. Anielle is a little surprised. Out of the window, she sees a herd of bats. As they enter the hall and deliver letters and packages to people, Anielle is pleased to see a golden bat flying towards her. She is pleased to see it is from Peter.
Dear Anielle, I will be very
at a conference this week, so
I will not be able to contact
you. I will be back on Thursday.
If it goes well, I’ll land us a
new contract worth millions of
pieces! Yours truly, Peter.
Anielle now feels really annoyed. She gets up to leave. As she passes Joshua’s table, she expects to see him with a bunch of his friends, cracking jokes about her, but she sees him by himself with a bottle of Old Hag whiskey. She feels a little sad now.
INT. DORM HALL. MORNING.
As she walks down the hall, thinking, she notices people seem to be avoiding her.
As she says this, she notices a flash of a fear monger’s leg. She runs to the room.
INT. JACK’S ROOM. MORNING.
She peers in and sees her neighbor, Jack, on his laptop reading a letter, which looks like a 3-d scroll. He eventually sees her peering in.
Nothing. Probably my imagination.
Then do you mind?
Anielle reluctantly leaves.
INT. DORM HALL. MORNING.
Anielle is almost at her room when she hears Jack’s scream. She runs back over.
INT. JACK’S ROOM. MORNING.
She runs in, fearing the worst. She sees Jack standing on his desk chair looking very frightened.
A really big one! Right
Oh, I’ll get it, you big
She raises her scepter and almost does a spell. Toci walks in.
Wait! Don’t kill it!
I have to! You know why!
That’s not a fear monger. The
fear monger put it there.
This creature deserves a chance
You do realize we use mice in
some important potions.
Those mice are raised on farms,
and when they die naturally, they
get sent to potion suppliers.
Anielle rolls her eyes and notices Jack is still squirming.
Fine. I’ll set it outside.
She points her scepter at the mouse and flies it out the already open window, landing it on the ground. A moment later, a bald eagle swoops down and grabs the mouse. Toci screams.
I think we should talk in
She pushes Toci, who is still grieving for the mouse, towards her room across the hall.